How to Handle Feeling ‘Touched Out’ When You’re A SAHM

Alessandra | Posted on November 28, 2024 |

Feeling touched out as a mom is completely normal! In this blog, learn what it is and how to deal with it all when you get overstimulated.

If you ever feel “touched-out” as a mom and then feel guilty about it, well welcome to motherhood! 🙃 As a stay at home mom (SAHM), being emotionally and physically available for your kids is a huge part of your role. But what happens when you feel like you’ve hit your limit? That overwhelmed, overstimulated sensation is often described as feeling “touched out.” And every single mom will reach her limit at some point. If you’ve ever felt drained from constant physical contact, first you should know that you’re not alone! It’s a perfectly normal part of motherhood because it is so emotionally demanding and babies, toddlers, and even big kids are demanding. So with that being said, in this blog, we’ll explore what being “touched out” really means, why it happens, and practical ways to handle it so you won’t feel guilty about these feelings!

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What Does “Touched Out” Mean?

Before we dive in, let’s talk about what this phrase actually means. Being “touched out” refers to the feeling of being emotionally or physically overwhelmed by constant physical contact or interaction, especially with young children. It might feel like you need space to breathe, but hands are always grabbing at you, voices are demanding your attention, and there’s little opportunity for rest. This can lead to irritation, exhaustion, and even guilt for feeling this way toward the people you love most.

Why Moms Often Feel Touched Out

Moms—especially SAHMs —are constantly giving. Whether it’s soothing a crying baby, cuddling a toddler, or meeting your older child’s endless requests, the physical and emotional demands of motherhood can quickly pile up. Here are a few common reasons moms feel touched out:

1. Lack of personal space

Kids don’t understand personal space at all. And stay at home moms often have little time to themselves. With their kids in close proximity most of the day, it can be hard to have alone time or a little break.

2. Sleep deprivation

Caring for young children often comes with fragmented sleep, leaving moms with less energy to handle constant contact. Whether you’re waking up frequently with a baby or you’re staying up late for me-time, most moms aren’t getting as much sleep as they should.

3. Mental overload

The mental load of managing a household, schedules, and emotional labor compounds physical fatigue. As moms, we are always, always “on.” This can lead to stress and irritation.

4. Hormonal factors

We’re women and with that comes hormones of course! Postpartum hormones or breastfeeding can really amplify these feelings of being overwhelmed, too. Or your regular cycle can contribute to an array of emotions.

It’s important to remember that feeling touched out isn’t a sign of failure or a lack of love. And you shouldn’t feel guilty over these feelings either. It’s natural to have these feelings and you’re only human! Ultimately, I think these feelings of being touched out are a signal that you need to recharge a bit and maybe even make some changes in your day-to-day.

Tips for Dealing With Being Touched Out

Feeling touched out doesn’t have to be permanent. Some days will be better than other of course, depending on the reasons I listed above. You will have good days and bad days, that’s just part of life. But here are practical ways to manage it all on the days that are harder!

1. Set Boundaries with Your Kids

It’s ok and it’s really important to set boundaries, even with your children. Teach your children about personal space in age-appropriate ways. For example, let them know that it’s okay to hug or touch, but sometimes Mommy needs her own space right now to recharge. For my Bluey fans, there’s an episode where the mom character, Chili, says she needs 20 minutes and she goes to her bedroom for a break while the kids stay with their dad. She explains to her kids that she loves them but “sometimes moms need 20 minutes.” And while they may not understand completely, they know they are loved and that it’s ok to take a break.

2. Prioritize Alone Time

Again, it’s ok to take a break! (Louder for those in the back😉) Carve out moments in your day for uninterrupted alone time, even if it’s just 5 or 10 minutes. Use this time to do something that feels restorative—whether it’s sipping tea in silence or reading a book. Maybe it’s just lying in bed for a few quiet moments. It’s ok to put the TV on for your kids and take a minute because you will be better from that break! It will give you the energy you need to get through the next phase of the day in a calm and collected manner.

3. Communicate Your Needs

Communication is key, always. Let your husband know how you’re feeling, chances are he wants to help you out! Or ask your partner or other support system, how you’re feeling. Asking for help with the kids or household tasks can free up time for yourself. Remember it’s ok to ask for help and you’re teaching your kids it’s ok to ask for help too!

4. Create Physical Barriers for Breaks

Sometimes, just being physically separated for a short while helps. Take a shower, close the door while you get dressed or got to the bathroom, or sit in a different room for a quick breather. I can’t stress enough though how OK it is to close the door while you’re in the bathroom. You deserve that 5 minutes of privacy, your child can wait. Again, boundaries mama are a HUGE thing in keeping those “touched out” feelings at bay.

5. Practice Self Care Daily

Self care is a hot topic for moms always so here’s what you really need to know… Engage in small acts of self care that prioritize your body and mind. This means a daily shower, drinking enough water, and eating a real meal is self care. One that is going to make you feel better instantly and help you go about your day in a good mood. You can also do a quick workout, a skincare routine, or journal. Taking just 2 minutes for you can make a big difference in how you feel and go about your day.

6. Rotate Physical Contact

If you have more than one child, rotate who gets snuggle time instead of trying to meet everyone’s physical needs at once. This can reduce overstimulation. Somedays snuggling with one kid can feel a whole lot better than 2 or 3 or even 4 of your kids all wanting to sit on you on the couch at one time. It’s ok to ask one of your children to wait a few minutes for their turn!

7. Incorporate Sensory Breaks

If possible, step outside for fresh air or engage in calming sensory activities like listening to soft music or using aromatherapy. These things can even be done with your children in tow. But a quick mindful minute to recharge can make a big difference in your stress levels. Plus you’re teaching your children positive ways to deal with stress! It’s a win-win for everyone.

8. Use a Code Word

This is a fun one! Have a code word with your husband/partner to signal when you’re feeling overstimulated. This lets them step in to handle the kids while you take a quick break all without hurting anyone’s feelings. This is a good one if you’re one of those people who often feels guilty about needing some space!

Final Thoughts

That was a lot of information! I hope you enjoyed it all, so let’s wrap it all up. The first thing you should know is being “touched out” doesn’t make you a bad mom ever! It simply makes you human. Recognizing this feeling is the first step towards addressing it. By setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and prioritizing time for yourself, you can recharge and show up for your kids as the loving, present mom you strive to be.

Remember that taking care of yourself is a vital part of taking care of your family. Give yourself grace and know that it’s okay to seek the balance you need in order to be the mama you always wanted to be. You’ve got this!

Is feeling touched out and burnt out taking over your life? Click the image below to learn more about The Motherhood Burnout Guide and get the tools you need to feel less overwhelmed and happier!

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