3 Things Moms on Social Media Say Are Normal But Actually Aren’t
If social media is making you feel down on yourself about motherhood, you’re not alone. Here are 3 things moms on social media say are normal behaviors, but they really aren’t. Keep reading to learn more!
In today’s world, moms turn to social media for community, connection, and support. However, certain behaviors have become normalized, making them seem like part of the motherhood package when, in reality, they’re red flags for deeper issues. There are many dos and don’ts when it comes to social media and motherhood and while it can be a great resource, it can also negatively impact mothers. In this blog, I’m going to break down three common things that moms on social media often say are “normal,” but actually aren’t. Then we will explore healthier alternatives that will help you enjoy your motherhood journey more.
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Things Moms on Social Media Say Are Normal
Real quick, let’s summarize the 3 things moms on social media say are normal (but aren’t):
- Not Showering for Days
- Feeling Like You’re “Drowning”
- Making Your Kids the Butt of the Joke
Then we will dive into more detail about why these things are NOT normal and what you can do instead to begin cutting out the noise and thriving in motherhood. But ultimately, if something feels wrong or “ick” to you, it probably is!
1. Not Showering for Days
You’ve probably seen the memes and posts where moms joke about not showering for days because they’re so busy or their kids “don’t let them.” While motherhood is undoubtedly demanding, neglecting personal hygiene shouldn’t be considered a badge of honor. Your basic self care, including showering, is essential for both physical and mental health.
Why It’s Not Normal:
Lack of personal care is a sign that you’re overwhelmed or have put your needs last. This can lead to burnout, resentment, or even depression over time. Showering isn’t just about being clean—it’s about taking a moment for yourself, refreshing your mind, and reconnecting with your body.
What to Do Instead:
- Set Small, Attainable Goals: If a full shower feels impossible, aim for a quick rinse or a self care routine that you can do in five minutes.
- Ask for Help: Whether from your partner, family, or a friend, ask for someone to watch the kids for 15 minutes while you take time to refresh.
- Prioritize Self Care: Treat it as a non-negotiable part of your day, just like feeding the kids or doing laundry. Even if it’s a brief pause, it’s vital to make it happen.
2. Feeling Like You’re “Drowning”
It’s common for moms to express feelings of being overwhelmed, often using phrases like “I’m drowning” or “I can’t keep up.” While it’s normal to feel exhausted now and then, consistently feeling like you’re underwater is a sign that something’s off in your routine or mindset.
Why It’s Not Normal:
If the feeling of drowning becomes constant, it can be a symptom of chronic stress or even postpartum depression. It’s important to recognize that feeling constantly overwhelmed shouldn’t be accepted as the norm. You deserve to feel supported, balanced, and capable, even during the hard times.
What to Do Instead:
- Delegate: You don’t have to do it all. Delegate tasks to your partner, older kids, or even hire help if possible.
- Create a Routine: Structure your day with routines that work for you. Having predictable patterns can help you feel more in control.
- Check in on Your Mental Health: If the overwhelm feels unshakable, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor. Sometimes, professional support is the most effective way to regain balance.
3. Making Your Kids the Butt of a Joke
Social media is filled with jokes at kids’ expense (have you seen the egg challenge?🙄) From memes about toddler temper tantrums to posts about kids annoying habits, it seems like getting a laugh on social media at your kid’s expense is ok. While it may seem harmless, making your kids the butt of a joke can create a negative environment and hurt their self-esteem.
Why It’s Not Normal:
Constantly poking fun at your children sends a message that their feelings aren’t valid, and it can erode trust in the long run. Children are smart and pick up on how they are portrayed, and humor at their expense can impact their emotional development and relationship with you.
What to Do Instead:
- Focus on Positive Humor: There’s a difference between light-hearted fun and jokes that hurt. Instead, share funny moments that don’t mock your child’s behavior or personality.
- Respect Their Privacy: As kids grow older, they become more aware of what’s shared about them online. Make sure your posts don’t embarrass them or make them feel uncomfortable.
- Empathize with Their Struggles: Instead of joking about their meltdowns, try to understand what’s triggering their emotions. Helping them navigate their feelings builds trust and connection.
Final Thoughts:
While social media can be a comforting place for moms to commiserate, some “normalized” behaviors are anything but healthy. Not showering, feeling like you’re drowning, and making your kids the subject of jokes are red flags that shouldn’t be overlooked. Instead of accepting these as part of motherhood, strive for balance, self care, and compassion—for yourself and your children! You don’t have to live in a negative, overwhelming state of motherhood just because social media makes it seem normal. You can and deserve to thrive, not just survive!
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