How To Be A Good Mom: Embracing Imperfection In Our World

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In this blog I’m redefining success in motherhood. If you want to be the best mom ever, you don’t need to be perfect! Keep reading to learn how to be a good mom by embracing your true self.

In the whirlwind of modern motherhood, the pressure to be a perfect mom can be overwhelming. From Instagram-worthy family photos to Pinterest-perfect birthday parties, society bombards us with images of flawless mothering. It’s easy to feel like we’re falling short, but what if I told you that embracing imperfection is not only okay but essential for your well-being as a mom?

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This blog is for you if…

  • You’re a mother of young children
  • You often feel as if you’re not enough
  • You often find yourself playing the comparison game
  • You struggle with perfectionism
  • You’re feeling anxious and stressed
how to be a good mom

The Illusion of Perfection

Why do mothers feel this incessant need to strive for perfection? Well, I believe our culture plays a significant role. Social media showcases highlight reels of motherhood, presenting an idealized version that’s far from reality. The pressure to excel at parenting can stem from a desire for validation and fear of judgment. We want to prove that we’re doing a great job to ourselves and others.

However, the pursuit of perfection is not just daunting, it’s detrimental to your health and motherhood journey. It leads to burnout, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. Unrealistic expectations can set you up for failure because perfection simply isn’t attainable. Chances are, you’re already a really great mom even when you feel like you’re failing.

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Why Imperfection is Liberating

Acknowledging imperfection when you’re a mom is not about settling for mediocrity! It’s about being kinder to yourself and your children. Embracing imperfection frees you from the shackles of comparison (remember, it’s is the thief of joy) and allows you to focus on what truly matters. What truly matters will differ for all families, but ultimately that means you’re providing a nurturing, loving, and supportive environment for your family.

How To Be a Good Mom

Below, I’m sharing 17 realistic expectations for moms. YOU get to change the narrative around perfectionism and motherhood. You can redefine what success means to you and other moms. The coolest part though is, by doing this we get to set up the next generation of moms for success and healthy mindsets when it comes to being a good mom!

17 Realistic Expectations for Moms

Let’s redefine success in motherhood with these 17 very achievable expectations! You got this, mama!

1. Love Unconditionally

Show your children love and support, even on the tough days. Everyone deserves love no matter who they are, what they do, and how they act. Your child(ren), even when they are having a hard moment, being difficult, or showing big emotions should be loved unconditionally! If this is something you struggle with, learning more about gentle and respectful parenting is key!

2. Prioritize Basic Needs

Ultimately, all your child wants is you. Ensuring your children are loved, fed, and clothed in a safe environment is the very best things you can give them. All the toys, events, playdates, vacations, etc. are extra. Focus on needs over wants and you will be the very best mom with the happiest kids!

3. Be Present

Cancel out all other noise and just be present. Put your phone done at specific times of day to give your full attention during quality time. Even if it’s breaks for 10 minutes, it’s enough! I always recommend no phones during meals, your morning routine, and bedtime.

4. Set Boundaries

Teach your children the importance of respect and discipline by setting boundaries. They can be boundaries for you such as, learning to say “no” when you don’t want to do something, not letting your kids in the bathroom when you’re in there, and when you need alone time. This can also be teaching your kids respectful boundaries for themselves, like not having to hug everyone, personal space, and using kind language. Setting boundaries is something many of us millennial moms are new at, and helping our children learn and establish them at such a young age is empowering!

5. Accept Help

Show your children that it’s okay to ask for and accept assistance from others! They will learn that it’s ok to ask for help as they get older and we all need someone to lean on. It will also teach your children to help others, which seems to be a lost art these days.

6. Take Care of Yourself

What better way to be a good mom, then make sure you are taking care of yourself!? Your well-being matters too so prioritize self-care and show your children that this is a boundary you won’t interfere with. A mom who takes care of herself is a happy and great mom!

7. Practice Patience

Patience is truly something that is practiced everyday. Remember, parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days will be better than others and you can’t be perfect everyday (hence this blog) but you’re always a good mom, I promise! You will get better at patience with each child and the older you get.

8. Encourage Independence

Indepence is one of the greatest things you can teach your child! And it all starts with keeping them close to you in their early years. As they get older, foster your child’s growth by letting them learn from their mistakes. A child who is independent is also confident and happy!

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9. Say ‘No’

It’s ok to say no to your friends, family, and partner. It’s ok to say no to your children. It’s ok to decline activities that add stress to your life. Learn to say no when it serves you and your children will grow up learning that they too can say no to something that does not benefit them! That is powerful.

10. Celebrate Small Wins

Are you even a good mom if you don’t celebrate?! This life is too short and this world is too dark to not celebrate whatever you want to celebrate. Recognize and appreciate the little victories in each day and find happiness in your home!

11. Be Flexible

Listen, I am all about structure and having a daily schedule. I truly believe children and moms thrive off routines in their daily life, but that doesn’t mean every day needs to be the same. Plans change and sometimes they change last minute. Learn to adapt and embrace the spontaneity. A little change never hurt anyone!

12. Model Imperfection

What better way to embrace imperfection, than to model it to your kids?! Show your children that making mistakes is part of life. Show them that you can make honest mistakes and apologize for them and move on. And show them that each day you have the power to become an even better version of yourself. Your imperfections make you brave, strong, and a fierce leader in your home!

13. Forgive Yourself

As I said in the last note, mistakes happen. Learn from these missteps and move forward. You can forgive yourself and try again tomorrow. I truly believe that is such an important lesson for our next generation to learn.

14. Create Rituals

It’s never too late to establish traditions for your family. Whether you start something the minute your child is born, or you start it when your oldest is 10 years old, it’s ok. These traditions and rituals are what build strong family connections that will last for generations to come! Don’t hold back, start that thing you’ve been wanting to start.

15. Communicate

This goes hand-in-hand with giving your children their basic needs. Listen actively and speak openly with your children. Teach them the importance of healthy communication skills and listening skills. This will help their future relationships and give them a solid idea of what a relationship should look like.

how to be a good mom

16. Stay True to Yourself

Always remember you are a woman outside of motherhood. You are more than “just a mom.” That means you can pursue your passions and hobbies just as you did before kids. Maybe your passions change a bit, but that’s ok. Continuing to do things you love makes you a great mom and role model.

17. Enjoy the Journey

Motherhood is a messy but beautiful journey. Not everyday will be fun or perfect or easy. But there are always moments to find joy in. Savor all the sweet and precious moments with your kids and you will be able to watch them grow without regrets.

How To Be A Good Mom: Tips for Setting Realistic Expectations

Now that you know 17 easy ways you can be a great mom and you now know you do not need to be perfect, here are five practical tips to help you set achievable expectations and thrive in motherhood! Being a mom is not about just surviving, it is about finding the little joys and embracing the imperfections.

1. Identify Your Values

Every single moms values are different. Reflect on what matters most to you and align your expectations accordingly. Let your values guide your parenting choices. Shut out the noise from other moms and do not compare yourself to anyone. You are always doing what is best for you and your family.

how to be a good mom

2. Focus on Essentials

Prioritize tasks that directly impact your family’s well-being. Maybe you can let your kids watch a little more TV than Susie’s kids can. Or maybe homeschooling is very important to you and not your next door neighbor. That’s ok! Focus on your family and let go of non-essential activities that add unnecessary stress.

3. Delegate Responsibilities

You are not the only one living in your home so ask for help! Involve your partner and children in the household chores. This teaches your kids that maintaining a home is a lot of work and you work together as a family, as a team, so get everything done. You don’t have to do it all alone!

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself, mama! Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Again, this blog is about not being perfect! So stop trying to be.

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5. Celebrate Progress

Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts, even if things don’t go as planned or as you thought they would. Know that progress, not perfection, is the goal! You’ve got this.

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    Embrace Imperfection, Thrive in Motherhood

    Motherhood isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being real. By setting realistic expectations and embracing imperfection, you can cultivate a nurturing environment where you and your children can flourish and enjoy a stress-free, happy home. Remember, your worth as a mom isn’t measured by how well you meet society’s [impossible] standards, but by the love and care you provide your family every day. Let go of perfection and embrace the beautifully imperfect journey of motherhood. YOUR journey of motherhood.🤍

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