Unsolicited Parenting Advice & How To Handle It Gracefully

Alessandra | Posted on February 13, 2025 |

No one likes unsolicited advice for anything, but it seems like once you become a parent, everyone has something to say! In this blog learn how to handle unsolicited parenting advice with grace.

Unfortunately, unsolicited parenting advice is something you’ll have to deal with at some point during your parenting journey. Whether it’s from well-meaning family members, strangers in the grocery store, or even fellow moms, it can be really annoying and sometimes even downright intrusive! And despite the fact that no two parenting paths are the same, many people feel entitled to offer their opinions. Even if you didn’t ask for it. My favorite is when older adults in your family who don’t even have kids give you advice. 😑

The advice can range from harmless suggestions to outright criticism, which can leaving parents feeling very uncertain, judged, or even pressured to change their approach. And while some advice can be useful, a lot of it tends to be outdated, misinformed, or simply not applicable to your specific situation. Learning how to filter through the noise while maintaining your confidence as a parent is crucial. In this blog, we’ll break down what unsolicited parenting advice is, why people feel the need to give it, and five ways to handle it with grace.

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What is Unsolicited Parenting Advice?

If you’re unsure what unsolicited parenting advice even is, let me tell you. It’s when someone gives any kind of guidance, suggestion, or opinion about raising children that you didn’t ask for. It often comes from people who assume they know best, regardless of whether their advice is helpful, relevant, or in line with your parenting style. It may come from a well-meaning family member or the stranger in the grocery store.

This type of advice can range from comments about feeding and sleeping schedules to discipline methods and everything in between. But no matter what, this type of advice is usually pretty annoying. It might make you want to roll your eyes, and can even make you second guess yourself as a mom! Which it shouldn’t, but if you’re a new mom especially, it can be hurtful. So you’re not alone if you find unsolicited parenting advice extremely frustrating. So let’s get to it and figure out how to deal with it!

Why Do People Give Unsolicited Parenting Advice?

Now you know what unsolicited parenting advice is and you’re probably thinking about all of this advice you’ve received since becoming a mom. Whether you knew what unsolicited parenting advice was or not, let’s talk about why people like to give their two cents. Because there usually is a valid reason why they are giving their advice, poor advice or not. Here are a few reasons why people feel compelled to dish out parenting advice without being asked:

1. They Mean Well

Many people, especially close family members, genuinely want to help you! Even if their delivery is intrusive or outdated, it’s most likely because they love you. And it’s amazing you even have that support.

2. They Want to Validate Their Own Choices

This one is digging a little deeper than that well meaning aunt or grandmother. Some parents or grandparents may feel the need to justify their own past decisions by encouraging you to do the same. It’s hard for some elder family members to understand that times have changed. And even though parenting is a constant in our world, it still changes too!

3. They Think Their Experience Makes Them an Expert

It might be their ego talking. A well-meaning family member may have more experience than you and unsolicited parenting advice seems to be the only way they know how to help. Of course, just because someone has raised children doesn’t mean their way is the only right way, but like I said, it’s usually well-meaning advice.

4. They Simply Can’t Help Themselves

There are some people just love to give advice, whether they’re qualified to do so or not! Just like that childless family member I mentioned. This is most likely the random stranger you pass in the store as well. They see children and young mothers and just feel like they should say something because they cannot help themselves.

While all this is completely ok, it can be frustrating and even overwhelming for a mom or new parent to hear. People typically mean well when giving their best advice because they just want to help. It can be hard to understand sometimes that parenting norms have changed because it seemed to have worked at some point and the old “well I turned out ok” phrases come up. If you’re finding that unsolicited parenting advice is really bugging you, let’s discuss ways you can handle it gracefully!

5 Tips to Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice Gracefully

While it can be very tempting to roll your eyes or snap back at the person dishing out their advice, handling unsolicited advice with grace can help maintain relationships and keep your peace of mind. Like I’ve stated in this blog many times, you’re probably getting advice from well-meaning family. From someone who does love you and just wants to help and support you. So do keep that in mind while learning a few ways to handle it all with grace below!

1. Listen, Then Decide

Sometimes, the advice you’re given might actually be helpful! There is some parenting advice that is tried and true, no matter what year it is. So, give it a moment, consider the source, and then decide whether it’s worth applying to your situation. Sometimes you just never know!

2. Use a Simple, Polite Response

If the unsolicited advice is coming from someone who cares about you, but the advice isn’t particularly useful, you’ll want to respond kindly. A short and sweet response like, “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” can acknowledge the advice-giver without engaging any further. Plus it can help to not make them feel bad.

3. Set Boundaries

For the family member who is constantly spewing unsolicited advice and making you uncomfortable, setting boundaries is probably the best way to end the advice without a hurtful confrontation. If someone is consistently giving unwanted advice, kindly but firmly set a boundary. This can sound something like, “I appreciate your concern, but we’ve got this handled in a way that works for our family.” You are being kind and respectful, while also being strong and marking an end to the conversation. If the advice giver doesn’t like that, then that’s one them, not you to worry about.

4. Redirect the Conversation

Sometimes the conversation just needs to stop before it starts. If you want to steer away from parenting discussions all together because you’re tired or annoyed, or whatever, then shift the topic completely. You can do this by asking about something unrelated, like the other person’s hobbies or interests. You can ask what their plans on for the next weekend or if they have watched any good movies lately. If that doesn’t work, you can simply excuse yourself from the room and go to the bathroom. If that doesn’t boldly state that you are not having the conversation, I’m not sure what will!

5. Trust Yourself

At the end of the day, you know what’s best for your child! Don’t let the unsolicited advice bring you down. And definitely don’t let a stranger make you feel uncomfortable with their advice. Stand firm in your decisions and parenting choices, and don’t let unsolicited advice shake your confidence. You are the best mom for your kids and you’re doing a great job! Trust yourself and either take the advice with a grain or salt, brush it off, or decide that it was something you needed to hear.

Final Thoughts

For many, many parents, unsolicited parenting advice is inevitable, but you don’t have to let it get to you. By handling it with grace, setting boundaries, and trusting your own instincts, you can navigate these situations without unnecessary stress. And more importantly, all the confidence! Remember, you’re the expert when it comes to your child! Not the random stranger, not Grandma Debbie, or Great Aunt Edith. The important thing to remember is the advice is well-meaning 95% of the time. No one is trying to make you feel bad, they just want to help you out. So take what you need and brush off what you don’t, because you are the best mama for your kids and your gut feeling is usually right!

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