Social Media Is Fake: What It Doesn’t Show You About Motherhood

Alessandra | Posted on May 29, 2025 |

Social media is fake, especially when it comes to motherhood. In this blog I share what social media doesn’t tell you about motherhood and why it matters.

It’s 2AM and instead of sleeping, you find yourself scrolling through Instagram. You’re checking out the curated playrooms, the smiling kids in adorable matching outfits, the moms with their hair done perfectly and an aesthetic coffee in hand. It looks beautiful and you might even find yourself comparing. My kid’s playroom doesn’t look like that, we don’t have matching outfits ever, and my hair is always in a mom bun. Sound familiar? I get it and I think we’ve all been there at one point. But it’s so important to remember that those are also just one side of the story. Because the hard truth is, social media is fake and doesn’t show what motherhood really looks like.

In this blog, we’ll dive into this trending topic and how even though moms on social media can say they are sharing the real and the raw sides of mom life, there’s always things you will never see. Keep reading and make sure to tell me what you think in the comment section below!

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Social Media Is Fake!

You can search for all the honestly about motherhood you want on Instagram, but you probably won’t find it. Social media, no matter how “real” a mom seems, is always curated. This blog post could go on forever, but today I’ll just share a few things you’re probably not seeing on a mom influencers social media page.

1. It doesn’t show the 3 a.m. feedings when your eyes are burning and your body aches, but you keep going because that tiny human needs you

Having a baby is beautiful and overwhelming and just plain hard! As moms we can all (mostly) admit that. But you won’t see the 3 a.m. nursing sessions when you’re crying because you don’t know the last time you had a full nights sleep was. Social media doesn’t show the nights you cry in the shower, wondering if you’re doing anything right. It doesn’t show the mental gymnastics of remembering everything, from packing extra clothes in the diaper bag to nap times to where your child’s favorite stuffed animal was last seen. It doesn’t show how heavy the “invisible work” can be. You know, the constant planning, nurturing, cleaning, cooking, comforting that a mom is always doing.

So even if a mom looks perfectly put together on Instagram, with perfect makeup and an adorable hairdo, you’re just seeing a moment in time. A second of a captured photo for social media. That photo won’t mention anything about how she was up all night, her clothes are dirty, or her little one is sick. Heck, the picture might even be from Easter last year when she felt the most put together.

woman breastfeeding baby in the middle of the night

2. Social media doesn’t show the guilt you carry for wanting a break

Mom guilt might be a choice, but for many of us moms, it’s very real. We may feel guilty for a moment or for an entire season of motherhood. You might feel guilty for not “loving every moment,” for yelling (again). You might feel guilty for handing over the iPad when your brain is fried, or for dreaming of more, while loving your kids with your whole heart.

The guilt is overwhelming sometimes and I’m sure that’s why you won’t see the deepest, darkest, guilty thoughts of a mom on social media. Because sometimes, who wants to admit that you’d love to run away for a week and hide or that you’re so tired you want to lay in bed all day? Social media is fake, because yes a mom might say, “oh I feel so guilty for snapping on my toddler,” but that’s surface level guilt. Don’t let moms on Instagram make you feel any less because either you don’t feel guilty often or the worst of your guilt is snapping. We all have irrational thoughts we would never say out loud.

3. Social Media doesn’t show a mom’s sacrifices

While we all know moms make some huge sacrifices, we are also told that we should do this selflessly and stop complaining, because we wanted a baby. Social media is fake because moms aren’t always talking about the body you barely recognize, the dreams you maybe paused, and the friendships that quietly faded away. It doesn’t show how deeply you miss the version of you who wasn’t constantly needed, touched, or interrupted. But on the flip side, it also doesn’t show the strength you’ve built.

So when you see photos on Instagram of the “mom who has it all” and never complains because her life is perfect. Well, you know what I’m going to say…that photo is only showing a few seconds of that mom’s life. She might be feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, missing her best friend from high school, or wishing she could continue reaching for that other dream she always had. You never know what’s going on behind the camera.

4. It doesn’t show the way you hold everything together, even when it feels like you’re falling apart

Again, that beautiful family photo on Insta or the adorable memory-filled reel is curated amazing moments. Because motherhood does have amazing moments! But you’re not seeing the love that’s poured into ordinary moments. The way moms show up when no one sees. The resilience in your bones or the softness you’ve learned to protect, even through the chaos. You might see big smiles on social media, but you never truly know how that mom feels inside. She might hate the way she looked the day, hate the dress she’s wearing, or maybe her toddler cried the entire photoshoot and she was feeling annoyed. You. Never. Know.

5. What social media misses—what it can’t capture—is the quiet courage of a mother who keeps showing up

There are somethings that a camera just cannot capture no matter how hard you may try. You’re not going to see the imperfect mom or the not-always-happy mom. You won’t even see the unwavering love a mom has for her kids on camera.

Here’s What You Really Need to Know:

You never know what is going on in someone’s life. An influencer might say they tell you everything, but deep down social media is fake. The deepest, darkest secrets are never exposed on Instagram. And the whole point of this post is to tell you that you are only seeing a few seconds of someone’s day on social media. It is not the whole story, it’s more like cliff notes. So at the end of the day, stop comparing yourself to other moms on the internet and remember to be kind to them too, because again, you just never know what is truly going on on the other side of that camera.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, stop comparing yourself to anyone on social media. And most importantly remember these things:

You don’t have to be picture-perfect to be a good mom. You don’t need an aesthetic life to have a meaningful one. And you don’t have to prove anything to anyone scrolling from the outside. You are allowed to be both grateful and overwhelmed. Strong and struggling. Joyful and exhausted. These opposite feelings can both exist together. You are allowed to be real and in fact, the realness is where the magic is. So the next time you find yourself comparing your life to a perfectly filtered feed, pause and remind yourself: Motherhood isn’t measured in squares. It’s lived in the messy, beautiful, behind-the-scenes moments no one sees.

And you?
You’re doing better than you think!

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