The Mental Load of Motherhood & How To Cope

Alessandra | Posted on April 7, 2025 |

Dealing with the mental load of motherhood can be difficult! In this blog, I share realistic tips as a mom of 3 to help you cope with it all.

The mental load of motherhood is so real! Motherhood is a full-time job of course, except there are no clock-out times, no sick days, and definitely no pay. And while the physical exhaustion is real, you know like carrying a 30lb toddler and three grocery bags at the same time up your driveway, the mental exhaustion can be just as overwhelming! You know that invisible checklist constantly running through your brain? That’s the mental load of motherhood. It’s the never-ending mental to-do list, the weight of remembering everything for everyone, and the reason why you feel exhausted even when you haven’t physically moved much. Let’s break down what this means and, more importantly, how to lighten the load.

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What Is the Mental Load of Motherhood?

The mental load of motherhood is all the invisible work that keeps your household and family running. It’s the planning, organizing, and remembering. It’s knowing that your kid’s favorite stuffed animal is about to fall apart and preemptively searching for a backup. It is keeping track of doctor’s appointments, permission slips, school spirit days, meal planning, birthday party planning, and more.

Oh, and the kicker? Even when someone helps with tasks, the responsibility of managing it all often still falls on mom. It can become really exhausting! And if you’re feeling stretched thin, you’re not alone. Let’s dive into some ways you can cope with the mental load of motherhood.

9 Ways to Cope With the Mental Load of Motherhood

Here are 9 easy ways you can start coping with the mental load! Try using a few of these tips daily and see how you feel. Make sure to let me know which ones you will try in the comment section below.

1. Get It Out of Your Head

If you find yourself being very forgetful, try writing things down. Your brain is not really a storage unit so getting things down on paper can help you remember everything and not feel stressed about it. Whether your write it in a planner, a to-do list app, or the back of an envelope, the less you have to remember, the lighter the load will feel.

2. Delegate (and Actually Let It Go)

One of the big things I had to learn for myself once becoming a mom, was asking for help and letting it be done even if it wasn’t “up to my standard.” You don’t have to do it all and you shouldn’t be! Hand off tasks to your husband/partner and children, then resist the urge to micromanage. If your husband/partner is handling bedtime, let them do it their way even if rough housing is happening instead of books being read.

3. Set Up Simple Systems

Routines save brainpower, amongst having other positive effect. Have a set laundry schedule, a meal plan rotation, or even a designated spot for keys and backpacks. The more autopilot you can put things on, the less you have to think about them. This helps everyone in your home move through the motions more easily and confidently. Then, if you are out one day or sick, everything can still be handled.

4. Say No More Often

It’s ok to say “no” to things you don’t want to do or just don’t have the energy for. You don’t have to sign up for every PTA event, bake homemade treats for every class party, or host every holiday. It’s important to rest and it’s ok if you don’t have something going on every night. Protect your sanity by setting boundaries. This is a great lesson for your kids too, because they will learn young that it’s ok to say no to some things.

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5. Prioritize Rest (Even if It’s Not Sleep)

You might be in a stage of motherhood where it’s impossible to get a full night’s sleep, but you can still take small moments to recharge during the day. A cup of coffee in silence, a walk outside, or even just sitting down for five minutes before tackling the next thing can all be beneficial. You matter and you deserve to take time to rest, even if it’s in small increments.

6. Simplify Your Daily Decisions

Decision fatigue is real for moms! Cut down on the number of choices you have to make each day. You can do this by meal prepping, creating a simple wardrobe for yourself and your kids, or setting a weekly schedule for common tasks. The fewer decisions you have to make, the less mental energy you’ll drain. Doesn’t that sound nice?

7. Have a ‘Bare Minimum’ Day Plan

Have you ever tried this? Not every day needs to be “ultra-productive,” mama, it’s ok to have a rest day. Make sure you have 1-2 days a week with no sports, after school activities, or lessons. Also, make sure to have a backup plan for those really overwhelming days, like having a frozen pizza for dinner or an early movie night. It’s okay to take shortcuts and it’s ok to not be busy 24/7.

8. Talk About It

Let your husband/partner know how you feel! Chances are he doesn’t understand, but I’m sure he wants to. Talk to him about the mental load and tell him how you feel and I’m sure he will be willing to help. You can also lean on family or friends and let them know what’s on your plate. Chances are they will understand too and it’s nice to just talk about it. But if no one knows you’re drowning, they can’t throw you a life raft.

9. Remind Yourself That ‘Good Enough’ Is Enough

At the end of the day, remind yourself that you’ve got this and you’re doing great! Your kids won’t remember if you forgot to sign them up for summer camp the first day registration opened. The won’t remember if you forgot to sign them up for that 8 week soccer team in the fall either. They will remember how present and loving you were. Give yourself grace and know that the ultimate goal is raising your children in a safe and loving home.

Final Thoughts

Yes, the mental load of motherhood is real so real, but you don’t have to carry it all alone. There are things you can do about it to feel good in your motherhood journey! Lightening the load doesn’t mean you love your family any less, it just means you’re taking care of yourself too. And that matters! So, take a deep breath, let go of the guilt, and know that you’re already doing an incredible job. Now, go set that reminder for school picture day before it slips your mind! 😉

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