I Need A Break From My Kids Sometimes (And That’s Ok)

Alessandra | Posted on December 31, 2024 |

If you ever catch yourself thinking “I need a break from my kids!” You’re not alone and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. In this blog, let’s talk about why it’s completely normal and healthy to want a break from your kids.

If you’ve thought to yourself “I need a break from my kids,” and then felt immense guilt over it, you’re not alone. Moms are often told they should take regular breaks and then they are told they shouldn’t ever want a break from their kid and they are terrible for taking one. We pretty much can’t win either way! In this first edition of “Mom Chats” we’ll dive into why it is actually normal to want a break from your kids and why you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Keep reading!

*Welcome to my “Quick Chat” blogs, where I write a short essay about an unpopular opinion that I can’t stop thinking about! This is a new series I’m starting in 2025, so if you’re enjoying it make sure to like this blog, comment below your opinion (be nice please!) and sign up for my email list.*

Do you remember the first time you stepped out of the house alone after having your first child? That mix of freedom (hello pre-kids world) and guilt that probably ate you alive? I get it and you’re definitely not alone. Society often makes moms feel like they should want to be with their kids 24/7, but that’s truly unrealistic and even unhealthy. Let’s talk about why it’s perfectly okay to have these feelings.

4 Reasons You Might Be Saying “I Need A Break From My Kids”

Needing a break from your kids or family is completely and utterly normal, mama! Plain and simple. We all need a break from certain aspects of our lives. Whether it’s work, our own home, or extended family members, it’s ok to need a break. But why does society tell us moms that we should take a break but also that we’re terrible moms if we do take one? Well, I don’t know, the best thing I can tell you is to not listen to those people. Here are 4 reasons taking a break from your kids is valid.

1. Recharging Is Essential

Taking a break is a time to recharge, which we all need sometimes! Being away gives you space to rest, reset, and think. And a rested mom is a better, more patient mom. Which is GOOD for your family! Would you rather feel guilty about snapping at your kids because you’re overwhelmed and tired? Or would you rather feel a little guilty about taking time away from them? I’d pick the ladder, and I bet you do too. Your kids will be well taken care of without you and I’m sure it’s harder on you than them.

2. You’re More Than “Mom”

Have you ever heard women say that they’ve “lost themselves in motherhood?” Or that they’ve had an identity crisis since becoming a mom? While that’s totally normal too, motherhood is a huge life change and it takes time to adjust to it, but when you never take a break it can amplify these feelings of identity loss. Yes, being a mom is your favorite part of you, I know that and never doubted it, but you’re a woman outside of motherhood too. A little time away from your kids reminds you of your identity outside of motherhood. Pursuing your passions or hobbies is vital for personal fulfillment and it can help prevent mom burnout.

3. Kids Benefit Too

Have you ever thought that maybe your kids could use a break from you? 🙂 Taking a break from your kids allows them to learn from independence. They learn to entertain themselves and develop resilience without you, and if they are with a babysitter it gives them the chance to kind of be the “ruler” of the household. Toddlers especially love that! It also helps with bonding, because they are able to build stronger connections with other caregivers. Even if that other caregiver is their father, it’s important for them to bond and develop other relationships.

4. Quality vs. Quantity

If you’re still feeling a little unsure about taking a break from your kids, let’s try a simple mindset shift. It’s not about how much time you spend with your kids, but how present you are when you’re together! If you’re with your kids 24/7 but only present for a few of those hours, is it benefiting anyone? By taking a break here and there (we’ll talk about the actual break next) you, again, will feel more rested and patient, making that time with your child(ren) a better experience for everyone.

How To Get A Break From Your Kids

You might be wondering how you even get a break from your kids, or you might be thinking that you can’t take a vacation. First off, stop looking at a break in black and white, or that you either don’t get a break or you get a vacation. It doesn’t have to be the extremes. I get that sometimes it’s hard to leave your kids, so if that’s not an option, take a break at home.

A break could be putting your kids in a safe space or even letting them watch tv, stepping out of the room for 5 or 10 minutes and taking a few deep breaths. Or a break could be closing the bathroom door and locking it when you need to go, instead of letting your kids walk in on you constantly. Maybe taking a break is a trip to the park for your kids to play independently or a trip to the library because kids tend to be “better” when out of the house. Taking a break does not mean a 5 star, all-inclusive vacation! It’s taking small chunks of your day to take a breather, or a “time out!” When you think of it more realistically like this, you’re more apt to do it.

Final Thoughts

Now that you know a mom break isn’t an all or nothing thing, I encourage you to ditch the mom guilt about it! Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s an act of love. A happier mom creates a happier home! And that is what’s important, right? Whether your next break is in the home or out of your home, remind yourself that you’re doing it for everyone’s benefit, including our own. That can help lessen the guilt you feel around taking a break. If you’re going to give this a try, let me know in the comments section below!

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