How To Rediscover Yourself After Motherhood In 9 Easy Steps

Alessandra | Posted on January 30, 2025 |

It’s common to feel as if you’ve “lost yourself” or you’re having an “identity crisis” once becoming a mom. In this blog learn how to rediscover yourself again in 9 easy steps so you can start feeling like you again!

When you start asking yourself “how to rediscover yourself now that I’m a mom” then it’s probably time to make some changes. While motherhood is one of the most rewarding journeys a woman can embark on, it’s also really challenging and it changes you down to your core. Of course, it’s also filled with endless love, milestones, and growth, but all these major changes that seem to happen overnight, is what makes it easy to lose yourself along the way.

Between things like sleepless nights, constant demands, and prioritizing your family above everything else, many moms wake up one day wondering, “Who am I outside of being a mom?” The good news is you are totally not alone and it’s completely possible to rediscover yourself and feel whole again. In this blog, we’ll discuss why moms often feel like they lose their identity, what it truly means, and nine actionable steps to help you reconnect with yourself. Keep reading if you’re ready to thrive in motherhood!

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What Does It Mean To Lose Your Identity

Before you can take steps to find yourself again, you need to know what losing your identity actually means. Here’s what I feel losing your identity means: “A period of uncertainty and confusion where you feel your sense of self becomes unstable.” This can happen when significant life changes, such as becoming a mother, cause you to question who you are and what your purpose is. You may feel disconnected from the person you once were, leading to a deep sense of loss or confusion. For mothers, this can manifest as feeling like you’ve lost your individuality, as your identity becomes closely tied to your role as a caregiver. Here’s a few signs you might be experiencing a loss of your identity:

Losing touch with your pre-mom self.
Struggling to balance the person you were with the person you’ve become.
Feeling unfulfilled or disconnected, even if you love being a mom.

It’s important to acknowledge these feelings are normal and valid. The first step toward rediscovering yourself is understanding that motherhood isn’t about losing your identity but evolving it! Motherhood does change you, and change is ok! You just have to recognize the signs of this loss of identity as it’s the first step toward addressing it and finding ways to reconnect with yourself.

Why Do Moms Lose Their Identity?

Simply put, moms lose their identity because becoming a mom is not only a life-altering transformation that requires immense mental, emotional, and physical energy, but it literally happens overnight. You can plan all you want and be very excited about becoming a mom, but no planning truly prepares you for the immense change having a baby brings. Then on top of that, moms dedicate so much of themselves to their children and families that their own needs, interests, and ambitions take a back seat. Factors contributing to this loss of identity include:

Societal Expectations

There’s this immense pressure our society puts on us to be the “perfect” mom. This can overshadow personal goals and desires, leaving moms feeling as if they don’t matter, they are unimportant, or they don’t deserve time for themselves.

Lack of Time

Children take up a lot of our time. Between feeding schedules, activities, and household chores, there can be little room left for personal pursuits. And depending on the season of motherhood you’re in, it may be harder to find time for you than a mother who has older children, or kids who are better sleepers, etc.

Shifting Priorities

Many moms often feel guilty about taking time for themselves. Maybe because of those societal expectations or your own expectations, but this leads to the neglect of hobbies, friendships, or career aspirations.

Emotional and Physical Exhaustion

Let’s face it, having children is tiring because the do take up so much of our time. In the early years of motherhood we also experience a lot of sleep deprivation. Exhaustion makes it hard to focus on anything beyond survival mode, let alone self-discovery.

How to Rediscover Yourself as a Mom in 9 Easy Steps

Alright, now you know what it means to lose your identity and why women often feel this way once becoming mother. Now let’s dive into 9 practical ways you can learn how to rediscover yourself as a mom so you can start showing up as the mom you always dreamed you’d be!

1. Reflect on Who You Were Before Motherhood

There’s nothing wrong with being who you were before becoming a mom. So, take some time to remember your passions, interests, and dreams. Write down things you really loved doing or goals you had before becoming a mom. This can spark inspiration to reintroduce those elements into your life.

2. Redefine Your Identity

Instead of trying to “get back” to who you were, embrace the evolution. Again, it’s ok to change and when you embrace the change it makes it easier. Ask yourself this: “What kind of person do I want to be now? How can I blend my role as a mom with my personal aspirations?” Write it down along with your top 3 most important goals/aspirations and times you can work on them.

3. Start Small

You may have become a mom overnight, but you don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start with small, manageable changes like reading for 10 minutes a day, picking up an old hobby, or scheduling a monthly coffee date with friends. These small things that you do for yourself can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself and motherhood.

4. Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries when you’re a mom is essential to all parts of your motherhood well-being. Learn to say no to things that don’t serve you! Boundaries protect your time and energy, allowing space to focus on yourself without feeling guilty.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Once you become a mom, taking care of yourself all of a sudden feels hard and unattainable. I have my theories around that, but that’s for another blog! 🙂 The main thing you need to know is, self-care is never selfish, it’s 100% necessary. And it’s easier than you think. Whether it’s prioritizing a hot, healthy breakfast each morning, taking a relaxing bath, exercising, or pursuing a creative outlet, carve out time for yourself each day.

6. Reconnect With Your Support System

There’s nothing more important than a support system when you become a mom. Lean on friends, family, or other moms who understand what you’re going through! Sharing experiences and receiving encouragement can be incredibly validating. Let your husband/partner know how you’re feeling through this loss of identity too, chances are he’s feeling the same way and connecting over these similar feelings will help build your bond and allow you to both rediscover yourself.

7. Explore New Interests

Maybe you find that old interests aren’t really for you anymore. Motherhood can open the door to discovering new passions. Take a class, learn a new skill, or try something you’ve always been curious about. New experiences can reignite your sense of self and help you thrive as a mom through a loss of identity.

8. Pursue a Personal Goal

You’re still a woman outside of motherhood, so pursue that goal you’ve been wanting to work on. Maybe it’s a big goal like running a marathon or starting a side hustle. Maybe it’s a smaller goal like, completing a home project or doing a 500 piece puzzle you’ve been meaning to get it. Whatever it is, setting and achieving a personal goal can boost your confidence and remind you of your capabilities beyond motherhood.

9. Celebrate Small Wins

Above all else, celebrate everything that comes with being a mom! Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. You are growing each day into a wonderful mom and woman. Each step you take to reconnect with yourself is a victory worth celebrating!

Final Thoughts

Rediscovering yourself after motherhood isn’t about going back to who you were before, but embracing the person you’ve become. By taking small, intentional steps, you can create a fulfilling balance between being a mom and being your authentic self. Remember, you are more than just a mother and that’s ok! You are a whole, multifaceted individual with endless potential. Let this be the time to honor that part of yourself and thrive in all areas of your life. If you’re learning how to rediscover yourself, let me know in the comment section below what tip was your favorite!

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