How To Overcome Mom Guilt For Good This Year

Alessandra | Posted on April 10, 2023 |

This year, moms are kissing mom guilt goodbye! There is no need to let it hold us back any longer. Keep reading to find out how you can overcome mom guilt too!

Who’s ready to overcome mom guilt with me this year? It’s time to stop feeling guilty over anything and everything and I’m going to help you figure out how to do it. In this blog we’re diving right into what mom guilt is, why so many moms feel it so immensely, and how to kick it in the butt and live your life! Keep reading for a free download, too, to help continue lessening your mom guilt so you can be the mama you always wanted to be!

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This blog is for you if:

You’re a stay at home mom
You feel like a bad mom
You are feeling mommy guilt all the time
You don’t know why you’re feeling guilty
You’re ready to feel better and live life

What is Mom Guilt?

First things first, what exactly is mom guilt? Well, it’s feeling guilty or shameful over everything having to do with being a mom. Things like:

Letting your kids watch too much tv
Not bringing them to social groups
Not playing with them enough
Feeding your kids fast food
Not getting outside
Having toys with batteries instead of wooden toys only
Spending time away from our kids

The list goes on and on. But basically it’s when moms feel like they are not doing enough or you’re not doing it right. It’s draining and all-consuming sometimes and it’s just not fair. You don’t need to feel mom guilt though, I’m going to help you say goodbye to it forever in this blog!

Why Do I Feel Mom Guilt So Often?

I think moms feel guilty so often because there have been unrealistic expectations placed on moms these days. We are told so many hypocritical things once becoming a mom it’s hard to keep up with it all and do it all!

We’re told we should work, but we always should be stay at home moms

We are told “breast is best” but formula is great too (and since you need to work it’s hard to breast feed anyway!)

We’re shamed for having one child but shamed for having multiple children.

We are weird if we homeschool but public school isn’t teaching our kids the “right” things.

This list could literally be one full blog in itself. There are so many things we are told we’re doing wrong and some many things they said we need to do but them we are shamed for literally anything we do. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t, basically! And that is most likely what leads to all the guilt.

Plus, we love our children so immensely and want what’s best for them, that sometimes we forget the simplest things in life are what’s best for them:

A happy mom! A loving and safe home. Food on the table. Hugs & kisses.

Don’t mitigate the basic needs our kids need as not being good enough. When it comes down to it, we overdo it as moms sometimes, when just providing a loving family, being there for our kids, eating dinner together, and reading books are all enough. The little things are what matters!

Here’s How To Overcome Mom Guilt

So since this is a positive blog post, I’m going to share some mindset shifts and changes you can make to your daily life to rewire your brain with positivity and say buh-bye to mom guilt forever! Here are some tips to for you that you can start implementing into your life today.

1. Practice self-care often

I know this is one of the first nose dives of feeling guilty. You probably have thought to yourself, “I have too much to do, I can’t do anything for myself right now.” But the thing is, when you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of your family. I know, because I use to do it. I never took time for me and I was constantly snappy, angry, and resentful. And how is that being a good mom? Hint: It’s not!

You need time for yourself, you need to do something that you love for YOU. That will help you feel less angry, you will feel better, you will notice a little pep in your step. When you’re feeling good, you’re a better mom, and that in itself should lessen your mom guilt!

2. Stop comparing yourself

Playing the comparison game is a big no-no! You cannot compare any aspect of your life to someones highlight reel on the internet because that’s a very small snap shot of someone’s life. They may look happy and perfect in a family photo but you have literally no idea what happened before your after that photo. Toddlers were probably screaming, mom may have been crying from said screaming toddler, the baby was probably crying too. You just never know!

So, enjoy your Instagram scroll and smile, but know that whatever hard thing you’re going through, you’re not alone. Many moms are going through the same challenges of parenthood and hiding it. You’re a great mom even if your life looks different than the next mom!

3. Lower your expectations

Hear me out! But everything you thought mom life would be, is completely different once you actually have kids (or multiple kids.) Am I right?! Lower your expectations about everything. Did you watch too much TV one day? Oh well, you’ll live another day when you watch no TV at all. Did you yell a bit too much last weekend? It will be ok, tell your kids you’re sorry, accept their forgiveness and move on.

Motherhood is about balance in every aspect and not everyday will be perfect. There will be good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. That’s just part of the ups and downs of life. Stop trying to be perfect and remember that “enough” is well, enough!

4. Spend intentional time together

I know you’re a stay at home mom and you’re together all day long, but spend intentional time together. Put your phone down, turn off the TV and have some real connection. This can be whatever you want, and honestly 10 minutes of your undivided attention can make all the difference. Build it into your day a few times a day. Here are a few things you can do together:

Eat dinner together with no technology or distractions
Read books together
Have a “tickle fight” or rough and tumble play
Play dolls or make believe (if that’s your thing – Honestly, I’m not a fan of this kind of play)
Take a walk together

These are all simple things you can do right at home to re-connect. You just need to take technology away because it’s SO distracting for everyone. And in a day when we are attached to our phones, it’s easy to forget that we look at them literally every minute. So put it away for a while and spend time with your child and give them your undivided attention.

5. Know you’re a great mom

It really can be as simple as knowing you’re a great mom and you’re enough. Your kids love you more than anything and to them you are the whole world! Know that you care, you love them, you are trying you’re absolute best and that’s good enough! Shifting your mindset and feeding yourself more confident mantra’s like the ones I’ll share below can make all the difference!

“I am a confident mom.”

“I’m doing the best I can.”

“Today was a hard day, but tomorrow we can try again.”

“I love my kids and they love me.”

“No one loves my kids like I do.”

“I am enough.”

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Be aware of what causes you mom guilt

Think about what is causing you mom guilt and write it down. Whatever causes you mom guilt, might not be the same reasons another mom feels it. So it’s important to pin point what make you feel guilty. Maybe it’s asking for help, maybe it’s going out, or you think you’re not spending enough time with your kids.

Whatever it is, it’s important to be aware of it so you can fix it. Once you know what’s causing it, talk to your husband or partner about it. Just talking it out can be helpful. Then get the support you need to figure out how you will tackle your mom guilt and get over it! Chances are, your husband has no idea you’re feeling this way and he doesn’t want you to feel this way either! He should be more than happy to help you figure it all out.

Final thoughts

You are more than a stay at home mom. You are a woman outside of motherhood and you have an identity outside of stay at home mom life! It’s ok to be the woman too. In fact, it’s important for you to be that woman, so your children can see that person too! It’s good for them to see you having fun, hanging out with friends, and having a life outside of them. That way they will grow up learning that it’s healthy to have other relationships and to take care of yourself!

When we take care of ourselves, our kids learn that it’s important to take care of themselves.
Alessandra | Just A Basic Mama

You’ve got this, mama! You can overcome mom guilt, it shouldn’t eat away at you forever. You know why you can overcome it? Someone once told me that mom guilt is a CHOICE. You and you alone get to choose how you feel about a certain situation and your circumstances. So with that in mind, remind yourself often of these 5 tips. Tell yourself daily that you are enough and that you’re a really good mom. You are a mom who cares and loves her children, and that is enough. You’ve got this, mama!

If you need some help scheduling in self care time, then sign up for my email list below. You’ll get my schedule as an example of what I do everyday and how I fit in time for me, plus you’ll get a blank one to fill in yourself.

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