How To Be Happy As A Stay At Home Mom In A Realistic Way

Alessandra | Posted on February 17, 2025 |

If you have felt unhappy in your role of stay at home mom, you’re not alone. In this blog let’s discuss how to be happy as a stay at home mom because that’s what you and your family deserve!

If you’ve been trying to figure out how to be happy as a stay at home mom, you’re in the right place. Being a stay at home mom (or SAHM) is obviously a full-time job and it’s constantly demanding. But unlike a traditional career, there are of course, no promotions, no performance reviews, and often, no immediate sense of accomplishment. It can be pretty thankless and can leave you feeling under appreciated. I get it!

Many SAHMs struggle with feeling unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or even guilty about wanting happiness for themselves. So if you’ve felt any of those things, you are so not alone. But here’s the truth: you deserve to be happy, and you can be happy in a way that works for your life. This isn’t about unrealistic self-care trends or ignoring the hard parts of motherhood though, don’t worry. It’s about finding joy in a way that makes sense for you! I’m all about being realistic about this stuff, so let’s dive in.

*This blog contains affiliate links, you can learn more at my terms. Thank you for supporting my blog!

Why Do Stay At Home Moms Feel Unhappy?

If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t feel happy being a stay at home mom, even though it’s what you really wanted, you’re not alone. There are plenty of reasons why SAHMs struggle with happiness, and if you’re feeling down, I understand and I’m will to be there are many other stay at home moms who get it too. Here are some common reasons you feel unhappy in your role.

1. Loss of identity

Let’s get right to the point…you probably just don’t feel like yourself anymore. Before kids, you had hobbies, interests, and career goals. Now, everything revolves around their needs. You’re not sure what your goals are anymore and you probably don’t do anything for just yourself. It’s easy to feel unsure and overwhelmed about this aspect of stay at home mom life.

2. Lack of adult interaction

Social media loves to glorify stay home, being introverted, and not talking to other moms. But talking to toddlers all day can leave you craving real conversations. Or taking care of a baby and having no one to talk to all day can be isolating. I remember when I was in the thick of being a stay at home mom with 2 kids under 2 years old, I would talk my husband’s ear off when he got home. I just couldn’t stop talking because I was so excited to have an adult to talk to!

3. Unrealistic expectations

Again, social media and societal pressures often make moms feel like they have to “do it all” and enjoy every moment. You may have passed the well-meaning stranger in the grocery store who oggles at your baby and tells you “it goes by so fast, enjoy every second!” And this may make you want to scream because having young children is hard! Being to to enjoy it all is frustrating and can leave you feeling guilty when you don’t enjoy it all.

4. Mental and physical exhaustion

It’s hard to find happiness when you are exhausted all the time. Parenting is non-stop, and mommy burnout is real! Between lack of sleep from middle of the night wake ups or running around chasing an on-the-move toddler, you probably have no energy most of the day. This can leave you feeling upset because it can be hard to smile in these tiring moments.

5. Lack of personal time

Once you become a stay at home mom, it’s easy to put yourself last because you’re busy caring for everyone else. There’s always a tiny human demanding something from you, you’re probably always being touched, and your body doesn’t even feel like your own anymore. This lack of personal time (and personal space) can leave you feeling overstimulated and annoyed.

Why It’s Okay To Be Happy

Besides these few reasons as to why you might feel unhappy as a stay at home mom, sometimes you may feel confused because you’re actually happy but feel you shouldn’t be. There’s a common idea that moms should be self-sacrificing and that their happiness should always come second to their children’s needs. Social media also makes “relatable motherhood” seem really hard and if you haven’t noticed, many mom influences never mention how awesome their kids are.

But the reality is, a happy mom creates a happier home and it’s totally ok to be a happy stay at home mom! You should be happy (at least most of the time!) When you take care of your own well-being, you’re setting a powerful example for your children. They learn that happiness isn’t about perfection but about balance, fulfillment, and self-care. You’re allowed to find joy in your role as a SAHM and in the parts of yourself that exist outside of motherhood.

How To Be Happy As A Stay At Home Mom (Realistically)

Now that you understand why you may feel unhappy and that it’s totally fine to feel that way, let’s dive in to the good stuff! If you find you’re really struggling with happiness, I got you! Here are some realistic ways to bring more joy into your daily life, mama. First and foremost though, happiness tip number 1 is to remember it’s ok to be happy! I think it’s just so sad that our world makes it seem like in order to be a good mom you need to be a miserable hot mess. It’s not true!!

1. Create small, meaningful routines

No matter if you’re a Type A or Type B mom, routines are super helpful. They don’t have to be insanely rigid either. Find simple, consistent moments in your day that make you feel good, whether it’s a morning cup of coffee before the kids wake up or an afternoon dance party in the kitchen. Make your routines work for you and your family!

2. Get outside every day

Fresh air and a change of scenery can do wonders for your mood so make sure to get outside each day with your kids. You can play in your backyard, take a walk around the block, or hit the park! Whatever you decide to do, getting outside for some vitamin D can help reset your mindset and boost everyone’s mood.

3. Prioritize connection

Another thing we see in our culture is the lack of social connections and it’s scary! Humans need connection, especially stay at home moms who dont’ get a ton of adult interaction. So, whether it’s texting a friend, joining a mom group, or chatting with your husband/partner at the end of the day, connecting with other adults is crucial to be a happy stay at home mom!

4. Embrace imperfection

Quit doom scrolling on Instagram or Pinterest and thinking you need to have a beautiful home or you need to do crafts with your kids everyday. Let go of the idea that your house has to be spotless or that your kids should never be bored. A little mess and downtime are normal! Being a perfect stay at home mom is never going to happen, and that’s ok! You’ll be happier if you stop trying to be perfect and embrace your perfectly imperfect life.

5. Do something just for you

In order to feel happier and not feel like you’re losing your identity, you must be ok with doing something just for you. Whether it’s reading, journaling, crafting, or exercising, having something outside of motherhood that brings you joy is essential! Don’t let mom guilt get in your way either. If you want to be a happy stay at home mom, remind yourself that it’s ok to take time for you and the things YOU love.

6. Ask for help

Asking for help in any aspect of motherhood is a great skill set to have! You don’t have to do it all alone and moms shouldn’t have to either. Accept help when it’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask for it when you need it. And side note: If you’re feeling really unhappy and struggling big time, reach out to your doctor for help. This makes you so much more stronger than you realize.

7. Reframe your mindset

Shifting your mindset isn’t going to be an overnight, instant help. It’s something that takes time and work. But to get you started, instead of focusing on what’s hard, try shifting your perspective a bit about being a stay at home mom. Start small by trying things like a gratitude journal, speaking affirmations, or simply recognizing the good moments in your day. These small shifts can make a big difference over time.

8. Take breaks without guilt

To be a happy stay at home mom remind yourself that you don’t have to earn rest. Taking a break isn’t selfish ever, it’s completely necessary. Especially when you’re feeling overstimulated by your children. I like to call this a “mom timeout.” Take 15 minutes alone to gather yourself and take a few deep breaths. It’s ok if your kids are watching TV while you take this time, they will be ok.

9. Focus on what matters

Ultimately, in order to be a happy stay at home mom, focus on what truly matters. Between the endless laundry and the dishes piling up in the sink it can be difficult to do this. But think about how amazing it is that you get this opportunity to be home with your kids. And also, they won’t always be this little and demanding. Try your best to be present for the moments that truly count and do let guilt consume you during the moments you don’t find enjoyable. It all goes by so fast.

Final Thoughts

Finding happiness as a stay at home mom isn’t about pretending everything is perfect, because it never will be. It’s really about embracing the reality of motherhood while still making space for joy. You don’t have to wait for some future stage of life to feel happy or the next season of motherhood to feel at ease. There’s always going to be hard moments in every part of being a SAHM, but if you want to know how to be happy as a stay at home mom you have to start small. Take baby steps and find what works for you. And ultimately remember that a happy mom isn’t a selfish mom. She’s a mom who’s able to show up for her family in the best way possible.

So take these tips I’ve given you and pick a couple that you can start introducing into your day and start showing up for you AND your family. Tell me in the comments section below which tips are your favorite. I can’t wait to hear!

Use the image below to save how to be happy as a stay at home mom to your favorite Pinterest board for later!

How to be happy as a stay at home mom-pin

Related Blogs:

Sharing is caring! If you enjoyed this blog, please share it with your mama friends by using the social buttons below. Thank you for supporting my blog! You can also support me by following me on Instagram @justabasicmama for more SAHM life.

Facebook Pin Tweet