What’s A Hot Mess Mom & Why You Shouldn’t Call Yourself One
If you catch yourself calling yourself a “hot mess mom” on some days, I get it! But in this blog I’m sharing why you should never do that.
We have probably all called ourselves a “hot mess mom” at one point in our motherhood journey. It’s almost inevitable or seems like a rite of passage, and of course it’s just meant to be funny. Just another way that moms make fun of themselves for thinking they’re not doing enough. Because let’s face it, motherhood can get overwhelming and down right demanding. You probably find yourself often juggling a million things and nothing ever goes as planned. So you might catch yourself thinking “I’m such a hot mess!” Listen, I totally get it. In this blog, let’s dive deep into why moms call themselves this term and why I think you should never call yourself a hot mess!
*This blog contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase an item through my links. You can learn more at my terms. Thank you for supporting my blog!
What Does “Hot Mess Mom” Mean?
The term “hot mess mom” has become a popular way for mothers to describe themselves when they’re feeling overwhelmed, disorganized, or simply not at their best. It’s a way to acknowledge the chaos and imperfection that often comes with raising children. Yes even the normal hard things. Here are a few reasons I think moms might use this term.
Social Media Influence:
Social media is filled with images and stories of seemingly perfect moms who have it all together. When our own reality doesn’t match these curated, aesthetic images, it’s easy to feel inadequate and label yourself a “hot mess.”
Unrealistic Expectations:
Society often places unrealistic expectations on mothers to be perfect caregivers, homemakers, and even career women. When these expectations aren’t met, it can lead to self-criticism. But let’s face it, as moms, we basically can’t do anything right in the eyes of our society.
Stress and Overwhelm:
The daily demands of motherhood can be incredibly stressful! When everything feels like it’s falling apart and you’ve lost you’re sh*t one too many times, calling yourself a “hot mess” might seem like a way to cope or find humor in the situation.
Why You Shouldn’t Call Yourself a Hot Mess
While calling yourself a “hot mess” might seem harmless and funny, it can have negative implications on your self-esteem and mental health. Think about it, they say to never call your kids names because you are what you are told you are. That’s why it’s so important to tell our kids those daily positive affirmations right? Then why are you talking down about yourself? Here’s why you should avoid using this label.
Negative Self-Talk:
Referring to yourself as a “hot mess” reinforces negative self-perceptions. Over time, this can erode your self-confidence and make you feel less capable as a mother. And again, think about how your child feels when they hear you call yourself a hot mess.
Perpetuates the Myth of Perfection:
By labeling yourself negatively, you contribute to the myth that mothers should always have everything under control. Read that one again! This can create unrealistic standards for yourself and others. You aren’t perfect, it’s impossible, so stop feeling like you need to be!
Impact on Children:
Your children are SO observant and often internalize their parents’ attitudes and behaviors. If they see you being overly critical of yourself, they might adopt similar patterns of negative self-talk and low confidence! No one wants that for their children.
It’s Not True:
Hey mama, it’s just not true! Despite the challenges, you are doing an amazing job. Motherhood is inherently messy and unpredictable, but that doesn’t make you a hot mess. It makes you completely human and pretty freaking normal!
RELATED: MINDSET MAKEOVER FOR MOMS
What to Do Instead When You’re Feeling Like a Hot Mess
Despite all the good days you have, a bad day will happen, it’s normal. So when you are having a particularly tough day and you catch yourself saying “I’m such a hot mess” here a few things you can do instead!
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself!! Acknowledge that it’s okay to have tough days and that you are doing your best. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend in a similar situation. I always say, if you wouldn’t say it to your friends then do not say it to yourself!
Focus on Small Wins:
Celebrate the small victories, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Did you manage to get your kids dressed and fed? That’s a win! Recognizing these accomplishments can boost your morale. At the end of the day, you kept your tiny humans alive and that’s something to be proud of!
Ask for Help:
Don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Whether it’s asking a friend to watch your kids for an hour or seeking advice from other moms, remember that you don’t have to do it all alone.
Take Breaks:
It’s crucial to take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Engage in activities that rejuvenate you, such as reading, exercising, or simply enjoying a quiet cup of tea. It’s ok to take 5 minutes alone to regroup as long as your children are in a safe space.
Reframe Your Thoughts:
Instead of labeling yourself negatively, reframe your thoughts to be more positive and empowering. You deserve that much! So, for example, instead of saying, “I’m such a hot mess,” try saying, “I’m managing a lot right now, it’s ok that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.”
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, calling yourself a hot mess isn’t helping you or anyone else. And if you’re thinking of the moms who seem to have it all together, let me tell you a little secret…
The moms who seem to have it all together, just know that they don’t have to do it all, they do what they can. They know at the end of the day, they are enough. Their house might be a little messy, frozen chicken nuggets may have been served for dinner, and the dishes need to be done. But the mom who looks put together knows that her presence with her family is what matters.
If you’re ready to feel this way too, to get out of that rut, to feel less burnt out and well, like a “hot mess” I got you, mama! Check out my Motherhood Burnout Guide and stop feeling like a hot mess mom ASAP!
Remember, motherhood is a journey filled with highs and lows. Embrace your imperfections and the challenges as part of the experience. You are not a definitely not a hot mess, you are resilient, loving, and capable. You are an amazing mother who is doing her best. Celebrate that!
Use the image below to save this blog right to Pinterest so you can come back to it later!
Related Blogs:
- Mindful Motherhood: Balancing Self-Care and Parenting
- How To Overcome Mom Guilt For Good This Year
- How To Be A Confident Mother In 14 Practical Steps
- Stay At Home Mom Goals For 2024 To Help You Thrive
- Finding The Balance In Motherhood: 9 Tips For SAHMs to Thrive
- Empowering Stay At Home Moms To Thrive In Their Motherhood Journey
Sharing is caring! If you liked this blog and it spoke to you, please share it with your friends by using the social buttons below! Plus be sure to join the Just A Basic Mama community below. Thank you for your support! You can also support me by following me over on Instagram @justabasicmama for more SAHM tips.
Leave a Reply