How To Find Joy As A SAHM: Best Practices For Happiness

Alessandra | Posted on April 13, 2023 |

Are you stuck in a rut as a stay at home mom? Do you feel burnt out and resentful often? Then check out this blog to find joy as a SAHM and take back control in your life!

You can find joy as a SAHM. In fact, you should feel joy and happiness more often than not, mama. Motherhood is challenging and I want you first to know that you are never alone in feeling those challenges. But motherhood is even more beautiful and joyful. It’s something to be excited about and you should smile everyday that you get to be a mama!

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There’s this quote going around on Instagram reels that says something like, “You don’t find a happy life. You make it.” And it honestly couldn’t be more true! You need to find the happy in your life. And you can do it with a few mindset shifts and motivation. Some people won’t like this but I’m gonna say it anyway:

It’s a privilege to be a mom. It’s not a privilege to be a happy mom.
-Just A Basic Mama

In this blog I’m sharing how you can take back the joy in your life as a stay at home mom and be the mama you always wanted to be! Before we dive in, you need to opt in to my email newsletter! You’ll get a free download that will help you take the steps you need to be a less overwhelmed and happier stay at home mom! Click the link below to sign up and be the best mama!

Yes I want to be a better mom! Send me my freebie ASAP!

How To Find Joy As A SAHM

This blog is for you if:

You are a stay at home mom
You feel overwhelmed/anxious most days
You feel resentful towards your husband and even your kids
A 3 month vacation sounds like the only thing that will fix this
Exhaustion is taking over your life (even when you’ve slept a lot)
You’re snappy, irritated, and just not yourself

If you feel one or more of those things above, then keep reading! You can be the mama you want to be. It’s not too late. Let’s go!

When did you lose the joy?

Somewhere between middle of the night feedings, lack of sleep, never getting out of the house, and maybe adding another baby, you seemed to have lost your joy. You’re snappy at your kids and you feel terrible about it at the end of the day. I get it, I’ve been there. When I had 2 kids under 2 years I was on edge all the time. I yelled a lot. I felt guilty at the end of the day and resentful towards my husband who got to go to work. Yet, I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was living my dream. Why did I feel this way?

Motherhood Burnout

You’ve probably heard of motherhood burn out or mommy burn out. It’s a feeling of complete depletion of energy, feeling overwhelmed all the time, resentful, and angry. And it’s something no one tells you about when you become a mom. But it’s real and it’s way more common than you probably realize. Ask any mom (especially one of multiple kids) and she will tell you she felt burnt out at one point in her life.

But how do you fix it? How does it go away? When will you find joy as a SAHM again? I’m sharing those tips right now! There’s two different aspects to it. One is a mindset check and one is a daily lifestyle change. Let’s dive into mindset for moms!

Mindset Shifts to Find Joy as a SAHM

First you need to change your mindset. Motherhood isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you. Your kids are not trying to bring you down or annoy you daily. You cannot have a poor attitude or say that someone else is making you feel a certain way. Stop pointing fingers at everyone else and take a look at YOURSELF. You get to choose how to feel. You can train your brain to be have a positive mindset. So let’s dive into some affirmations/mantras you can repeat to yourself to help bring awareness to you.

“I am worthy of love.”

“I am the best mom for my kids.

“Self-care is a necessity and I’m deserving of it.”

“I can do hard things.”

“My feelings and needs are valid, I matter too.”

“I am not perfect and I don’t need to be.”

“My kids won’t need me like this forever.”

“I am enough.”

“I am confident.”

“My child is not giving me a hard time, she is having a hard time.”

“I wake up motivated.”

“I can’t do everything and that’s ok.”

“My parenting style is great for my children.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

These are just a few daily affirmations for stay at home moms that you can say to yourself each morning to begin feeling more positive and confident about your role as a mom. My top advice is to always remember you’re enough and you’ve got this!

positive affirmations for stay at home moms

Daily Lifestyle Changes to Find Joy as a SAHM

Here are my tops tips, things you must do everyday, to start your day off right and continue to be happy, productive, and motivated. Let’s change your day-to-day life to help you find joy and defeat overwhelm.

Get ready for the day

I always recommend getting yourself ready for the day. Take a shower, get dressed, put on a little makeup, and fix your hair. If you only have time for one of these things, make sure you just get dressed. Getting out of pajamas will do wonders for your mood and motivation. When you look better, you feel better, therefore you do better. It might sound silly, but don’t knock it until you try it! Get ready for the day and tell me in the comments how much better you feel!

Have a daily schedule

You need a great daily schedule and routine for your kids. When your kids have routine and structure they can do better because they know exactly what to expect each day. This in turn helps them feel safe, secure, and confident! I talk more about daily schedules for kids in this blog. But having a daily SAHM schedule is helpful for you so you know what you need to do each day. This way you stay on top of things, you have all obligations written down and you won’t forget anything!

Get out of the house

Find joy by getting out of the house. Do not stay cooped up indoors for too long. Getting outside can be anything from playing in your backyard to meeting your friends at the playground. Maybe getting out of the house to just pick up your child from school or grab a coffee. Either way, cabin fever is real and getting out of the house helps!

Ask for help to find joy as a SAHM

I don’t know why this seems to be the hardest one (it was for me anyway) but you need to ask for help. Maybe it’s just from your husband/spouse or maybe you need a babysitter. Whatever you need, ask for the help you deserve, we were not meant to do motherhood alone. And in a time when our village isn’t really there, we sometimes need to make one. Asking for help doesn’t make your weak or any less of a mom. In fact, it makes you stronger knowing where you’re lacking and that you can’t do it alone.

Lower your expectations

Honestly, this one speaks for itself. Forget the expectations or what you think you need to do in order to be a great mom. Being there for your child, giving them a safe place to live and thrive and grow is all the truly need. Everything else like sports and social groups are extra. So as soon as you learn you are enough and everything you do is enough, you can find joy again.

Only cook dinner 4-5 times a week

Dinner is like the bane of every stay at home moms existence haha! Here are a few ways to make dinner time easier:

Don’t cook every night.
When you do cook, make extra so you have leftovers the next day for dinner.
One night have a frozen pizza or chicken nuggets — even though you’re cooking it won’t feel like it!
Get take out one night a week
Have your husband/spouse cook once a week (at least!)

Not having to cook every single night make the end of the night witching hour that much easier!

Clean as you go to find joy as a SAHM

Cleaning up as you go throughout your day is a whole lot easier than letting the mess pile up and tackling a huge mess at the end of the day. No one wants to do that. It’s overwhelming and you’ll just feel defeated — and then you probably won’t do it at all. Let’s change this to a win: Clean up after breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Smaller messes are easier to tackle, less daunting, and you’re more likely to actually start AND finish the job. Do this with toys too, I usually help my kids clean up messes after lunch (midday) and after dinner at the end of the day.

Do this with ongoing chores too. If you do one to two big chores each day then you won’t spend your Saturday doing every single chore, or letting them slip behind because you want to actually enjoy your weekend. Make yourself a chore chart and start by doing one big chore, like vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom, each day. My rule of thumb is, if it takes less than 10 minutes, then just do it!

Keep up with laundry

Keeping up with your laundry is the same concept as cleaning up as you go. I have a whole blog about how you can keep up with laundry here. So I won’t get to into it right now, but I recommend doing one load of laundry a day instead of doing it all in one or two days. When you have smaller loads of laundry to do, you’re more likely to start and finish them at one time. Don’t let laundry stack up for days and stop rewashing the same load over and over. Just get it done, when it comes down to it, doing one load of laundry takes about 15 minutes. Thank goodness for washing machines and dryers right?!

Exercise/Move your body

Make sure you’re moving your body often! If you’re not big into exercise maybe you just take short walks with your kids each day. But moving your body is important all the time and it’s a great habit to have. It’s also a great habit to teach our kids to stay healthy and strong! So do something.

Let go of mom guilt

Say adios to mom guilt, mama! You don’t need it holding you down. You’re doing a great job, you are deserving of self-care and having an identity outside of motherhood. You are a woman as well as a mom, so find time for you without feeling bad about it.

Remind yourself often that you are enough

This one speaks for itself. Find joy in knowing that you are enough. You are doing a really great job mama! Don’t compare yourself to anyone else either! We are all on our own paths and motherhood journey’s and we’re not meant to be the same and do the same things. We are all different and that’s what makes us unique and wonderful.

Final Thoughts

You are a great mama and the best mama for your kids! In order to find joy, you need to create it. You are in charge of you and the life you want to give your kids. Wake up every day with a smile, know that life is not happening to you, it is happening for you! Seek out all the happiness in the world and find gratitude. Know you are not alone in the hardships of motherhood and things will get easier and settle down over time. But for right now, you’re living your best life and remember that this is what you always hoped for!

Let me know in the comments what you think about this blog and what you are doing to find joy as a SAHM again! Follow me on Instagram @justabasicmama for more tips and motivation like this on the daily!

Save the image below to Pinterest so you can come back to this blog again when you need the reminder to find joy as a SAHM!

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