Meeting Basic Needs Is Self Care, Mama & Here’s Why

Alessandra | Posted on May 20, 2025 |

This is a really major unpopular opinion, but meeting your basic needs is self care! In this “Quick Chat” blog I’ll explain why I think this is true.

I know this might not sound glamorous. It’s not a bubble bath, a massage, or a weekend away in the mountains (though sign me up for all three). But here’s the truth no one talks about enough. This truth that is actually more harmful to mothers than not. And that truth is…meeting your basic needs is self-care. *GASP!* Keep reading, because in this Quick Chat blog, I’ll discuss this hot topic and why I think meeting your basic needs matters.

*Welcome to my “Quick Chat” blogs, where I write a short essay about an unpopular opinion that I can’t stop thinking about! This is a new series I’m starting in 2025, so if you’re enjoying it make sure to like this blog, comment below your opinion (be nice please!) and sign up for my email list.*

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The Definition of Self Care

The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of “self care” is literally: “Care for oneself.” It’s that simple, self care means caring for you. Whether that’s eating real food, not your kids leftovers or going the salon to get your hair done, basic needs count and are so, SO simple, if you let it be!

Meeting Your Basic Needs Is Self Care

Somewhere along the way, somehow, self care became this Pinterest-perfect checklist of expensive skincare, luxury vacations, and aesthetic lattes. And while those things are lovely when you can get to them, they’re not the foundation of self care. Let’s not forget that eating a real meal, taking a shower, and going to the bathroom without a tiny person asking where you are is important. If you don’t have these basic needs met, then mama, no face mask is going to make you miraculously feel better.

I used to think I was doing “nothing for myself” because I wasn’t fitting in these big, magical, luxury moments for myself. But then I realized that I was surviving on fumes. Forget a fancy mani/pedi! What I really needed was more water, rest, and a hot cup of coffee I didn’t microwave three times before 9 AM. It simply comes down to the fact that meeting your basic needs IS self care, because it’s simply taking care of yourself.

So yes, drinking water, eating a real meal before you’re hangry, going to bed at a reasonable time, and even going to the bathroom with the door locked so no one walks in on you all counts.

We’ve been conditioned to believe these things don’t matter…

I blame social media, but many of us moms have been conditioned to believe that basic needs are not self care. That as stay at home moms, we’re supposed to be available 24/7, living off crumbs, and powering through like superheroes. But let me be the one to remind you: superheroes still need to eat, sleep, and take breaks! In the wise words of Morgan Wallen, “Superman’s still just a man sometimes.” 😉 Getting back to the basics of our health and wellness, is most certainly self care and once those basic needs are met, we can move on to the bigger things, if we want to and if they are available.

Which brings me to my next topic…

If they are available. Sometimes massages and pedicures are not something moms can even do. Maybe it’s a financial burden, maybe a mom lacks the resources to be able to do these things alone. Whatever reason it may be, I think it’s important to note that basic needs, which are typically pretty easy to meet are important for everyone! Who’s to tell you eating a healthy, hot breakfast isn’t self care? If it makes you feel good then it most certainly is! When moms think that only the big, expensive things are self care, they might think they are “failing at it.” And then they may not even attempt to take care of themselves at all. Which doesn’t help anyone.

Reading a book, painting your own nails, and doing your favorite thing right at home are all forms of taking care of yourself and those things all matter in helping you feel more like you!

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, if you’re a mom and you’re doing something that makes you feel good it’s self care! You are not failing at it if you haven’t had a spa day in two years. I actually don’t think I’ve had one in 10 years because it’s not my thing, but that’s neither here nor there. I truly believe if you brushed your teeth, drank enough water, and ate something that wasn’t your kid’s PB&J crust then you’re caring for yourself. That matters!

Let’s give ourselves more credit for showing up and meeting our most basic needs. Even when it feels like no one sees it, because that is self care. And it’s the kind that helps us actually show up as the moms we want to be!

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