Mom Comparison Is A Trap: Find Joy In Your Own Parenting Path
It’s common these days to find yourself comparing yourself to other moms on the internet. But if it’s sending you spiraling and causing you sadness, then keep reading! In this blog you’ll learn about the mom comparison game and how to find joy in your own parenting path.
Let’s talk about the mom comparison game. Because chances are you’ve done it and it could be sending you down a rabbit hole or ruining your motherhood experience completely. Motherhood is a journey filled with unique challenges and beautiful moments, but it can also bring along the habit of comparing ourselves to other moms. It can be somewhat normal and human to compare, but social media has made it worse. So, whether you’ve found yourself comparing on social media or at the playground, it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough when we see other moms seemingly thriving. However, mom comparison can drain our confidence and steal the joy from our own parenting journey. Understanding why we compare and learning how to break free from this habit can help us find more fulfillment and peace as we embrace our unique paths as moms. Keep reading to learn more!
*This blog contains affiliate links, you can learn more at my terms. Thank you for supporting my mommy blog!
What is Mom Comparison?
Mom comparison is the act of measuring yourself against other mothers, often focusing on perceived shortcomings. It’s negative 99% of the time. It can manifest in various forms, like feeling inadequate because another mom appears to have a perfect home, well-behaved kids, or a flawless work-life balance. This habit can leave moms feeling less competent or worthy, even though the comparisons are often based on surface-level observations.
Why Do You Compare Yourself to Other Moms?
Like I said above, comparing yourself to others is totally natural! But for millennial moms, there are several specific reasons why it happens more often and at a seeming heightened awareness now-a-days.
Social Media Pressure:
I’d say this is the number one reason why comparing is happening so badly these days. The highlight reels on social media can make it seem like other moms have it all together, leading to feelings of inadequacy. The perfectly curated households, the big, beautiful houses, the fancy trips, and cute clothes you see moms wearing on social media can make you feel bad if you can’t do or have those things too.
Cultural Expectations:
Our society often sets unrealistic standards for motherhood, making it easy to feel like you’re not measuring up. Whether it’s having well-behaved children or doing it all without help, the culture we have built puts unrealistic expectations on mothers who often feel inadequate because of it.
Desire for Validation:
It’s normal to want to feel like you’re doing a good job. But seeing other moms who seemingly “have it all together” can sometimes make you question your choices and abilities if you haven’t left your house in a couple days, your kid act out often, or your home isn’t spotless.
Lack of Support:
When moms don’t have a solid support system, they’re more likely to seek out comparisons as a way to gauge if they’re on the right track.
Perfectionism:
Moms who strive for perfection often compare themselves to others to see if they’re living up to their own high standards. And the ironic thing is, comparing makes you want to be perfect. It’s an endless, tiring cycle!
How to Stop The Mom Comparison Game
While yes, comparing to a point is a natural part of being a human, there are things you can do to lessen your need to compare yourself with other moms. Ultimately remember that no one is perfect, social media is a highlight reel, and you’re doing A GREAT JOB! Here are 5 more in-depth ways you can stop comparing yourself to other moms.
1. Limit Social Media Exposure
If you find yourself frequently comparing your life to other moms/influencers on social media, try setting boundaries. Take breaks from scrolling or unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings. If I am following another mom who I don’t “vibe” with anymore or who makes me feel bad, I simply unfollow them, no hard feelings. That account just doesn’t serve me anymore and that’s ok. Also remember that Instagram is a HUGE highlight reel. When you see perfect homes and outfits, chances are they were cleaned up just for 1 photo. Plus you have no idea how that mom truly feels on the inside.
2. Celebrate Your Wins
Focus on your own achievements and successes, no matter how small they may seem. Recognizing what you’re doing well can help build confidence and shift the focus back to your unique strengths as a mom. Your worth as a mom isn’t about your cute clothes or how clean or large your home is. You are always doing what’s best for your kids and loving your children and that’s what truly matters. So if you got yourself out of the house today with your kids, that’s a great win! If your kids are happy and healthy, that’s a great win!
3. Practice Gratitude
Spend time each day reflecting on what you’re grateful for in your own life. This simple practice can shift your mindset from comparison to appreciation for your own journey. Get a journal or notebook and write down 3 things your grateful for each morning and think of those things often throughout the day.
4. Connect with Real Moms
This is huge! Seek out authentic connections with other moms who share similar values with you. Honest conversations can remind you that everyone faces challenges, and nobody has a perfect parenting experience. Plus real-life connection is often kinder than the internet and less judgy! It’s overall a much better experience and you’ll see in real life how other kids act and that you and your kids are probably very normal and all having very similar experiences! Find mom friends through mom groups, your local library, the park, etc.
5. Focus on Your Own Goals
Instead of comparing yourself to other moms, set your own parenting goals and work towards them. When you’re focused on your personal growth, you’re less likely to be swayed by what others are doing. Shut out the noise of others and focus on you (and your family) and know that you are doing your best and that is what matters!
Final Thoughts:
Mom comparison can easily become a thief of joy, and destruct your journey in motherhood. But recognizing the unique value you bring as a mom and taking steps to avoid the comparison trap can help you embrace your journey with confidence and joy. Every mom has her own path, and the best way to thrive is to focus on what works for you and your family. Remember, you’re doing much better than you think, and your unique way of mothering is what makes you a great mom. You’ve got this!
If this blog resonated with you, you’ll love being on my email list! Join below and get a free daily schedule template so you can add structure to your day and start feeling confident in your mom abilities!
Use the image below to save this mom comparison blog to Pinterest so you can come back to it later
Related Blogs:
- Mindful Motherhood: Balancing Self-Care and Parenting
- How To Enjoy Motherhood Again Without Feeling Like A Bad Mom
- Being An Overstimulated Mom Sucks Here’s How To Deal
- To The Burnt Out Stay At Home Mom, You’re Not Alone
- Mom Rut: 5 Joyful Ways To Break Through It & Feel Inspired
- Stay At Home Mom Goals To Help You Thrive
Sharing is caring! If you enjoyed this blog, please like it and share it with a friend by using the social buttons below! Thank you for supporting my blog. You can also support me by following me on Instagram @justabasicmama for more stay at home mom life!
Leave a Reply