Advice for New Moms: 20 Real Things You’ll Want To Know

As a mom of 3, here is my best advice for new moms. These 20 things are real and I wish I knew them when I first became a mom!

Advice for new moms can be found everywhere these days. From social media to blogs to parenting books, you can become overwhelmed with tips, tricks, and advice when you become a parent. And as much as social media likes to joke about unsolicited advice (some of it is ridiculous) I also think some of it is important. Moms need advice from past generations, even if it’s not the best or most up-to-date advice. There’s nothing wrong with hearing it all and learning from seasoned mothers!

In this blog, let’s dive into 20 real things you truly will want to know when you’re embarking on your new motherhood journey! Oh and, congratulations mama, you are about the enter the best chapter of your life yet! Keep reading for the advice I wish I got when I became a mom.

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Advice for New Moms: First things First

Back to that unsolicited advice – no one wants it from Aunt Bonnie who doesn’t have kids. If you don’t want to take the advice from someone who never had children, I don’t blame you. Brush that advice off your shoulder! I want to first say, hey! I’m Alessandra, a stay at home mom of 3 kids who are 8, 6, and 3 years old. I don’t think I’m an expert, but I can promise you I will give you sound advice that I wish I got when I first became a mom. Let’s dive in!

Advice For New Moms: 20 Things You’ll Want To Know

Becoming a mom is literally the best thing that will ever happen to you. If you’re wondering how to cope with being a first time mom, you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about 20 things you must know once you become a mama!

1. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

I say this one first because if it’s the only one you read, then you’ve read the most important one! Don’t ever hesitate to reach out to family, friends, or even professionals when you need assistance or advice. Parenting is a team effort and asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you stronger. Knowing you need some help and accepting it, is one of the best things you can do when you’re a new mom!

2. Trust Your Instincts

Your gut and your instincts do not lie. You know your baby better than anyone else. Trust your instincts and intuition when it comes to caring for them. If something seems off, you’re probably right about it, so follow your gut and do what you need to do. It might mean advocating for your baby or yourself or getting a little uncomfortable, but you truly know what’s best!

3. Self Care Is Essential

Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. It is so, so important! You might feel guilty taking time for yourself, but I always like to tell moms that taking care of you IS taking care of your family. A happy and healthy mom is better able to care for her baby! Don’t forget that you matter and you are deserving of TLC whenever you feel it’s necessary. Also, don’t let anyone tell you what is and isn’t self care. Do little things each day to take care of yourself like eating a real meal, drinking enough water, and moving your body, even if it’s just a little bit.

4. Sleep When You Can

I hate the advice “sleep when the baby sleeps” because you usually can’t do that. But with that being said, sleep and rest is still very essential and you need to make time for it. Sleep deprivation is real, especially in the early months and it will rock you. Rest whenever you have the opportunity, even if it means a 10 minutes cat nap in the middle of the day.

5. Bonding Takes Time

You might read those blissful stories of new moms who instantly bond with their baby, and maybe it’s true, but if you don’t feel that way you’re not alone. Building a strong bond with your baby is a process that evolves over time and childbirth is a huge milestone that messes with your hormones, so don’t worry if it doesn’t happen immediately. You are not weird and you are not alone if your baby feels like a stranger to you. Your bond will develop as you spend more time together and your hormones balance out!

6. Every Baby Is Different

If your friends baby slept through the night at 6 weeks old and crawled at 4 months, that’s great for your friend’s baby. And that will probably not be your experience and that’s ok. Don’t compare because every single baby is different (even all the babies you have will be different.) What works for one baby may not work for another. Be open to trying different approaches until you find what works best for your little one.

7. It’s Okay to Feel Overwhelmed

Parenting is challenging, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times. There are going to be moments when you think you can’t do it anymore, that motherhood is too hard, or you just don’t know what to do anymore. These thoughts are all normal and valid! Having a baby is a huge life change. Reach out for support and remember that you’re not alone. If you’re feeling constantly overwhelmed, I created this guide just for you!

8. Trust Your Husband/Partner

If you have a husband/partner, trust them to share the responsibilities of parenting. Communicate openly and work together as a team. You might even have to ask your husband for help around the house or with the baby. And that can feel annoying or like you’re nagging, but remember this is a huge change for your husband too! He is probably overwhelmed as well, and might not know what to do to help you. Make sure you talk daily so you know what each other needs from the other.

9. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Have you ever heard the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy”? Well it’s true! Avoid comparing yourself to other moms or judging your parenting journey based on others’ experiences. Especially avoid comparing yourself to other moms on the internet – social media is a very, very small glimpse into someone’s life and it’s basically fake. Focus on what’s best for your family and you will be joyful in motherhood!

10. Take Care of Your Relationship

Not enough people talk about this! Parenthood can put a strain on your relationship, because you and your husband/partner have made a huge life change, your exhausted, while also navigating this new lifestyle change. It’s a lot! So make time to nurture your connection with your partner. Schedule date nights or simply spend quality time together at the end of the day. Just make sure you’re being intentional and communicating because this can be a tough time on your marriage/relationship.

11. Accept Help With Household Chores

I know you’re “the only one who can do the chores the right way” but please ask your husband for help. And just because you do it right doesn’t mean you should hesitate to accept help with household chores or meal preparation from friends or family members. It can make a big difference during busy times.

12. It’s Okay to Feel a Range of Emotions

Your hormones are fluctuating like crazy after having a baby, from nursing, and from lack of sleep. In one moment you might feel joy and love to frustration and exhaustion. It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions as a new mom. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions without judgment. If these emotions are interfering with your day-to-day life though, make sure to reach out for help!

13. Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Easy

If you have chosen to breastfeeding, that’s amazing and while breastfeeding is natural, it doesn’t always come naturally. It is actually really difficult! I highly recommend you seek support from lactation consultants or breastfeeding support groups if you encounter challenges (which you will) so you can continue to succeed in your breastfeeding journey.

14. Create a Support Network

Everyone talks about that “village” you need when becoming a mom. And then people like to joke about how that village is nowhere in sight or doesn’t even exist. Well, here’s the thing…you might need to create your village yourself! Make sure to surround yourself with supportive friends and fellow moms who can offer encouragement, advice, and empathy.

15. Find Time for Yourself

You’re going to want alone time more than ever now that you’re a mom. And you deserve that time too! Don’t feel guilty about it. Carve out time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it’s reading, exercising, or pursuing hobbies. Taking care of yourself is essential for your well-being!

16. It’s Okay to Make Mistakes

Remind yourself of this daily!! It’s ok to make mistakes because you are only human and you cannot be perfect! Parenting also doesn’t come with a manual, so making mistakes along the way is virtually inevitable. Learn from them, forgive yourself, and move on. It will all be ok! And even thought parenting doesn’t come with a manual, doesn’t mean you can’t get a little extra help. Check out my course Thriving Beyond Motherhood and get all the advice you wish your mom friends would tell you!

17. Enjoy the Little Moments

Motherhood is filled with countless precious moments, from your baby’s first smile to their first steps. Take the time to savor these moments and create lasting memories. This isn’t to be confused with enjoying every moment either…that is impossible! Being a mom comes with lots of difficult moment that you will not enjoy, and that’s ok. Validate a difficult moment and move on.

18. Stay Flexible

Being on a schedule is great for moms and babies, but you also need to remember to be flexible too. Parenthood requires flexibility and adaptability. Things won’t always go as planned, and that’s okay. Embrace the unexpected and go with the flow.

19. Don’t Neglect Your Social Life

I know this can be difficult and that’s because your priorities completely shift after becoming a parent. It’s natural. But it is so important to maintain connections with friends and socialize when you can. This means making new friends too if you’ve moved on from old friends. Continuing to have a social life as a mom will help prevent feelings of isolation and provide much-needed support.

20. You’re Doing a Great Job

Last but not least, finally, remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect mom. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough! Give yourself credit for all that you do for your baby every single day!

Final thoughts on Advice for New Moms

You might not always want advice when you’re a new mom, but it truly is essential to get the REAL advice and knowledge from seasoned moms. We’re all in this motherhood thing together and we must stick together and support one another. It’s important! Not all advice for new moms is created equal, so take what you will, but becoming a new mom is a whirlwind of emotions, challenges, and unforgettable moments. As you navigate this incredible journey, remember these essential tips to help you thrive in motherhood!

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• The Online Course for Stay At Home Moms Who Want To Thrive
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