Toddler Temper Tantrums: How To Handle Them Confidently

Are you in the toddler stage now? People call them the “Terrible Twos” but I love to call them the “Terrific Twos” instead! Two year olds are sooo wonderful and sweet! It’s my favorite age. But they can be tough, no doubt! Keep reading to learn how you can be the cool and confident mom while handling your toddler’s next temper tantrum!

Toddler temper tantrums are inevitable. They are going to happen at one point or another unfortunately. But the good news is, you can do your best to lessen them! And you can also learn how to handle them with grace. It’s honestly pretty easy once you figure it out. And I wish I learned this earlier! Before we get into it, make sure to join my email list for tips and motivation! Plus get a free bedtime routine checklist to get started on the daily routines your toddler craves!

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Quick Story Time!

Here’s a quick background story: I’m a mom of 3, and my first baby was an angel child. My second…lets just say she humbled me. You know that viral quote from a while back, “My first child gave me the confidence to be a good mom, my wild second child taught me not to judge other moms.”? Yea that was 100% me! I was not prepared for my second child being 2. And here’s why…

This is my assumption, your first child is easy because:

A. You have no one to compare them to. And,

B. There is nothing they are seeing that is above their age range. Everything is tailored for them.

Here’s an example. My second child use to have tantrums because she couldn’t eat something her big brother was eating. But when my first child was her age, that wasn’t available to him at all, so there was nothing for him to freak out about. Make sense? The problem I had with my second child, is she would begin to freak out and I would just give in to her. So she ultimately, learned that she could scream and temper tantrum and mama would give in. WHOOPS!

Now that you have some background information about how I totally messed up with my second toddler. I’m sharing my best advice with YOU, as I go into the toddler stage with my third child! Yes I’m in the brunt of toddlerhood again and I’m doing things way different. Keep reading to learn how to lessen toddler temper tantrums (like a third time mom!)

Confidently Handle Toddler Temper Tantrums

Here is my top advice to lessen and deal with those inevitable temper tantrums.

1. Pick your battles

This is like the age-old advice from our mom’s, mom’s, mom, right?! But it still rings true to this day. Pick your battles, mama. There is no reason to ever argue with a 2 year old. If your toddler wants to do something her way, and she is safe doing it, just let her. I always make sure to give myself enough time to get ready on days we need to be out of the house at a certain time. That way she gets the freedom to do things how she wants. Toddlers crave independence! So if we can foster that for them, we can lesson those fits.

2. Give choices

To help cut out another tantrum, give your child choices. An example is asking something like, “would you like the pink plate or the blue plate for breakfast?” and let them choose. Or you can pick out 2 different outfits to let your child choose from. Giving them options (because, you guessed it, they want to be fiercely independent) will make them feel like they are in control of the narrative. And toddlers love being in control as much as they love being independent!

3. Don’t limit your child to certain rooms

Here’s what I mean by this. Don’t gate-off your entire house. Of course, use child locks for areas of your house that are unsafe, like where you keep chemicals and cleaners, knives, detergents, etc. But you don’t have to block off the entire kitchen. You can also of course keep doors to certain rooms closed if you don’t want your child in there unattended, and this will fall under “out of sight, out of mind.”

Other than that, I always left my kids to free-roam around my house. They could get into things, like pots and pans, diapers, and toys. Or climb around the kitchen table and down the hallway. But they were always safe doing these things, even if I couldn’t see them constantly. I didn’t keep them in gated areas or portable cribs either. They were free to explore and I truly believe that this helped with no only less tantrums, but they were curious enough without getting into every little thing.

4. Keep their things at their level

There’s two big things that you can keep at your toddlers level to make things easier for you and lessen toddler temper tantrums. One is, keep toys at a lower level where your toddler can reach them and choose for themselves what they want to play with. The other is, keep their snacks at their level too! Let them have access to their favorite snacks so they can choose one themselves. I keep bowls at my kid’s level too, so they can grab their own bowls and snacks. This helps lessen tantrums because they get to choose and practice independence!

What if I’ve tried everything and my toddler is still having a temper tantrum?

Now this is definitely going to happen! Toddlers have biiiiig emotions that they haven’t quite figured out how to deal with. It’s one more thing we, as moms, need to teach our kids. How to deal with these feelings does not come naturally! So here are a few ways I’ve learned to deal with the toddler temper tantrums cooly and confidently!

1. Stand close by

The old advice to ignore your toddler tantrum is out! Your child might not want you to touch them or hug them, but standing close by allows them to feel safe and know that you are there when they are ready. And that’s huge for them! They will come to you when they want. And chances are, they will lean in for a hug sooner rather than later.

2. Don’t give in

You don’t have to give in to the temper tantrum! Like I said earlier in this blog, I use to do this with my 2nd child and it was sooo bad for so long. We use to get in literal screaming matches and I would be like “why am I fighting with a 2 year old?” If your toddler is having a full out tantrum and you’re feeling upset too, it’s ok. You need to take a deep breath and know that it’s OK if your child is upset! They can sit in those difficult feelings, you don’t need to make it better or fix anything. Take a breath, sit next to your toddler and just ride out the tantrum. This is probably the best advice I have received since having my third child.

Now you know how to lessen toddler tantrums and how to deal with them confidently when they do (inevitably) happen to you! Because they will. And even though they can be challenging to deal with, they are totally normal and a healthy part of your child’s development! Let me know in the comments if this was helpful for you!

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