To My Third Baby: You Didn’t Get All Of Me But You Got The Best Of Me
A third baby (or any subsequent baby) can bring on a lot of feelings for mamas. In this blog you’ll learn why those babies are the lucky ones and some of my best advice for moms.
Are you about to have your third baby? I’m guessing you found this blog googling all there is to know about how to handle having a third (or subsequent baby) or how you will love one more baby the way you love your others. Mothers always feel guilty about adding another baby to their family. It’s that inevitable mommy guilt, I think. We wonder if we will have the time and energy for another or if our heart will love another child. Well, keep reading mama because you are not alone in those feelings!
If you’re about to have your second, third, or even sixth child, you CAN love another baby. Your heart does not divide for another child, it GROWS. Subsequent babies are the lucky ones in my opinion. They get the seasoned mom. The prepared mom. They might not get all of us, one-on-one, and one hundred percent of our attention. But they sure get the best of us. Keep reading to find out why your third baby will be ok and get my best advice for new moms.
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This is an open letter to my own third baby, Kinsey.
Dear Kinsey,
My third child, my last baby. I’m thankful beyond words that you completed our family. Despite the fact that you came during a crazy and dark time in our world (she’s an August 2020 baby) you have brought so much light and love to our family. You are the puzzle piece that our family didn’t know we needed. All of our hearts expanded the second you were born. We made room for you easily, as if we had known you forever. And although you are the baby of the family, with a big brother and sister who demand a lot of attention, you are loved so effortlessly.
You might not have gotten all of me all the time. But you got the very best version of me.
Kinsey, you got the mama who knew what she was doing. (Better than the first 2 times anyway.)
You got the mama who was much more confident. Who knew she could breastfeed this time around. Who knew some co-sleeping would be ok. A mama who knew those “bad habits” wouldn’t actually create bad habits.
You got the mama who understood, who was much more patient, who knew how fleeting the newborn stage is and actually enjoyed it. I loved and appreciated it the most the third time around.
You got the mama who knew how to slow down. Who held you a little more often. Who woke more eagerly through the night. The mama who breathed it all in, every second.
For you, I was the mama I always wanted to be.
Your big brother and sister got a great mom, I have no doubts in my mind about that. But looking back, I see how impatient I was with them at times. I see how badly I wanted to make sure I didn’t create any bad habits like using bottles or my breast to put them to sleep. Or holding them too often because I didn’t want to spoil them. I thought that going “by the book” was the most important thing and I know now that I was wrong.
My third baby, your brother and sister taught me what was truly important, so I could give it all to you.
You may have to share my time and attention, but you’re ok with that, because you get and have always gotten, the very best I have to give.
Love,
Mama
My Best Advice for New Moms:
No habit is a bad habit. Breastfeeding your baby for comfort will not cause them to continue breastfeeding until they are 12 years old. Pacifiers won’t be needed forever. Holding your baby too much is never ever a bad thing. Rocking your baby to sleep will not cause poor sleep habits in the future. Your baby is only little for so long, so hold them as often as you want and rock them whenever they need it! They will not need you like that forever.
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